Reverse
by ethankreizis
Summary: Onodera and Takano decide it is time to meet the parents and end up at odd ends. The next morning, Takano wakes up feeling eight years younger and finds that he is being forced to re-live different versions of his life in worlds where their paths crossed in completely different ways, over and over and over and over again. (Nostalgia Sequel to Rewound)
1. Chapter 1

**Reverse**

 _"For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you."_

-Cecilia and the Satellite, Andrew McMahon

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

"You can't say that to my parents," Onodera rolled over on the bed and put his chin on Takano's abdomen, stretching his arms out in front of him and giving the other man a look that definitely said 'No Way' without the actual words. "You want them to like you, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah," the older man sighed and put a hand on Ritsu's hair in a gesture that had become more of a habit now that they lived together. "What a pain… meeting the parents. You're a grown ass man, why do we need their blessing?"

"We _don't,_ but you said you wanted to meet them officially, still, we ended up putting it off for a lot longer than I expected I could get away with," Onodera placed a small kiss on the other's skin before he propped himself up and leaned in for a kiss. He had reluctantly started to ease into a state of comfort where he was fine being so casually intimate with this person. From the beginning he had always been sort of awkward, but it was becoming second nature to be close to Takano-san, so much that it was almost frightening.

"How did I even let you put it off for all these months?" Takano stopped their kiss, but he put his hand on Onodera's face and offered him a smile.

"I can be distracting," Onodera said simply, nodding his head.

"Incredibly so," the other pulled him back down for another kiss.

They were lying naked on their bed― _their_ being the word Onodera still stumbled over. But he closed his eyes less tightly then he once would have, his shoulders tensed much less than they once would have, and his skin reddened just a little less than it once would have. Where he had once been tightly wound, Onodera was now relaxed in their moments of affection, but still his heart beat just a little quicker, and his stomach fluttered just like it always had―because really, there was nothing better than feeling a love that was easy and not anxious at all.

When he opened his eyes as he pulled back from the kiss, Onodera looked down at his one and only love and he smiled. It had been nearly eight months since what now felt only like a dream had inexplicably thrown him back in time into what he could only figure was a series of altered universes where subtle differences had been made to their history. Still, sometimes he would wake up gasping and he would look over almost frantically, the part of himself that was still afraid of waking up as his fifteen-year-old-self only relieved when he found his still adult boyfriend sleeping next to him.

"I know you don't want to tell them," Takano put his hand gently on Masamune's face. "I don't want to force you."

"No, no," Onodera tried not to shake his head. "It's fine. I just, I know already, that they will disapprove of us. They just want what is good for my father's company, they don't want me to be happy."

The older man tucked Onodera's hair back and he kissed him again. It made him happy to see the soft flush of Onodera's face, and it was easy to see the other's discomfort on the topic. "But I do. It's okay, I know I was not lenient on it being your choice, but I'm telling you now, we don't have to go see them and we don't have to tell them anything."

"No, it's okay. We can go, you can meet them, we'll go ...tomorrow," Onodera sat up and reluctantly pulled his lover's hands away from himself. "I think mother mentioned something about my father attending a conference over the weekend here in town. They were both invited."

"That's a bit sudden," the other sat up and gave him a look. "Tomorrow? Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes. We don't have to tell them, but it would be okay if you met them," Onodera said slowly. "And I guess... we can consider how it will go if we do tell them."

Takano gave him a look. "Like a test run?"

"Yeah…" Onodera took a deep breath. "Yes. I'll go call mother, she will insist we spend the night at the hotel. So, um, how do you feel about a business casual romantic getaway?"

The surprise was easily noticeable on Takano's expression but he accepted what Onodera said and still couldn't help to comment on it. "I guess you are serious, normally you would avoid speaking to her at all costs."

Onodera looked at him with a completely serious face. "That's because she is evil."

"Ritsu," Takano raised an eyebrow but smiled slightly.

"Yes, yes. I'm going," Ritsu stood up and yanked the bedsheet around his hips, but he turned almost gracefully and laughed. "I can just tell they're going to love you, what a pain in the ass."

* * *

"You're _terrible_ ," Onodera laughed and put a hand on his mouth to hide his face, but he looked at Takano adoringly and tried to contain himself. "You shouldn't be so mean to him, Takano-san, he's doing his best."

"His _best_ my _ass,"_ Takano pulled out of the driveway and headed down the street. As he drove, he turned his hand up to Onodera and glanced over at him. "You and I both know Sayato-san can do much better he's just being a brat."

"You gave him three days to finish his manuscript, which he didn't seem to have started yet and doesn't need to be finished for another two weeks, and we told him we would be unavailable for the span of those unreasonable three days," but Onodera wasn't scolding him seriously and he put his hand over Takano's and laced their fingers together. "Doesn't that seem irresponsible?"

"He can do it," was all Takano said, staring stubbornly ahead with a straight face.

"He's a nineteen-year-old boy," Onodera pointed out.

"That is nearly two decades, he's almost twenty, not almost _ten."_

"You're too hard on him. Honestly, that is too much pressure from you."

"I think you're just too soft on him because he's cute."

"He is _not."_

"But he is," Takano looked over and smirked. "You like him because he looks like me, when we were younger and just as stupid."

Onodera leaned his head over and nudged Takano's neck. "Stop it. Besides, we were both highly intelligent, still _are_ even in our old age," he joked.

"You know it's true," Takano teased him back. "Anyway, he'll be fine."

"If you didn't cause a mental breakdown," Onodera rolled his eyes. "Look at us, squabbling like an old married couple." He looked down at their linked hands and tightened his fingers around the other's, taking a deep breath before looking up at him. "We can't be like this around my parents, it will feel… strangely unnatural."

Takano was quiet at this and he brought Onodera's hand up to his lips and kissed it. "Then we will have to do what we can in the time alone we get. Hm, Ritsu?"

"M…Masamune," Onodera's small smile turned into a partial laugh and he leaned back in the seat of the car. "Takano-san," he corrected himself. "Please behave around my parents. You are not only meeting them as my parents, it will be a completely professional setting."

"You act like I haven't been to one of these things before," Takano gave his hand a gentle squeeze and sighed. "When I have in fact been to way too many."

"You and me both," Onodera couldn't help it, he leaned back over and kissed Takano's cheek. "Well, at least be thrilled that we only got one hotel room for the both of us."

"Yeah, don't mention _that_ to your parents. Remember the time you were absolutely livid that we got only one room for the both of us?"

Onodera laughed. "I'm gonna call Haruki-san and tell him to take care of Sayato-san while we are gone."

* * *

Takano Masamune was undeniably in love with this beautiful person. He had realized a very long time ago that his small lover could always be described as _beautiful._ His hair was always soft and clean and his face was small with perfect features. His favorite part of him had once been his eyes, which were as crystal green as ever, but that had easily shifted to the way that Ritsu smiled at him now that they were together and how his face flushed with color when he did.

He really was the easiest distraction for Takano Masamune.

"Do you remember the last time we were in this hotel?" Onodera had just picked up their room keys from the desk and was leading them towards the elevator.

"How could I forget," Takano followed him into the elevator without protest. "Last year, you were very, very drunk."

"Who's fault was that?" Onodera handed the keys to him before he took out his mobile phone. "I have six missed messages from Sayato-san, look what you did you gave him anxiety."

Takano snorted but tried to stifle it when Onodera glared at him. "What? He's not alone, he has Haruki-san to help him."

The two of them stepped off the elevator and headed down the hall, following the fancy signs towards their room. When they stopped in front of a room, Onodera turned back to him, took back one key, and opened their door. "Haruki-san is only _one_ assistant, Takano-san."

Takano closed the door behind them and immediately went to drop his bag on the luggage bench by the door. "I just want Sayato-san to confess to him already. You know they would be good together."

"Takano-san," Onodera turned to him and gave him a glare. "He'll tell him when he's ready."

"Yeah, after roundhouse kicking him in a moment of misunderstanding and disappearing for ten whole years," the older man muttered, but he was only joking and he walked over to where Ritsu stood by the bed and pulled him over into a kiss. "Like you confessed when you were ready?"

Onodera pouted up at him but kissed him again. "You're never gonna let that go, are you? The rain interrupted me, Takano-san, it was the rain!"

"Come on, let's get ready," Takano kissed him one more time before stepping back. "We did not spend nearly three hours last night discussing my wardrobe for nothing."

* * *

Onodera, Takano decided, looked and acted very much like he was raised by his parents. His shy and timid demeanor from when they had been in high school made a lot more sense after only five minutes sitting at the table with the older couple. He had always seemed like he was raised by a loving family and that had once not been far off. The frigid way he had carried himself when they had been reunited many years after that time was more understandable when Takano saw how stiffly Onodera's father stood and how firm his mother's face appeared.

He knew very little about Onodera's parents―Onodera Ryou was a tall man with straight features, his face was handsome and his hair was graying but he appeared to still be in great health. Takano knew he was the head of Onodera Publishing and therefore an incredibly busy and important man. His wife, Onodera Masuyo, was a smaller woman who shared her hair color with her son, as well as his shade of green eyes.

Though Takano was sure that he and Onodera's father had been at similar conferences and galas a handful of times before, it had never been necessary for them to directly cross paths. Despite his nerves from the beginning, Takano found that they actually got along quite well―Onodera's mother found him handsome and charming, and his father found his knowledge of literature impressive and his opinions on similar literature of interest refreshing.

But what was more entertaining was how relieved and also annoyed Onodera was by the fact that his parents, of course, almost adored the impressive editor in chief Takano Masamune.

"Are you staying in the hotel for the conference?" Onodera's mother put down her fork and dabbed the corner of her mouth with her napkin. She looked at Onodera expectantly.

"You know places like this make me uncomfortable, mom," Onodera had barely touched his food, though he kept up appearances by occasionally moving it around the plate with his fork. "The luxury is unnecessary."

Takano had been discussing one of their prominent new authors and a recent addition to the literature department of Marukawa with Onodera's father, but he became interested in Onodera's conversation with his mother.

"But you are staying for the weekend? We never see each other, we should have lunch tomorrow, Ritsu," his mother went on. "Discuss why you haven't found yourself a nice girl yet, or maybe why you rejected the one that I found _for_ you."

"Mother," Onodera gave her a look. "Can we please not do that here?"

"If he doesn't want to be married, he doesn't have to be, Masuyo," Onodera-sama took a stab at a thin slice of grilled beef. "We already talked about this."

Takano watched Onodera be uncomfortable with an even face, but he decided not to speak.

"My work is very time consuming," was all Onodera said, sipping his drink and looking away.

"Yes, but if you just would accept taking over for your father you would have a better opportunity to meet a girl," his mother pointed out. "At least give me some grandchildren! And if we don't talk about this now we never will, you know, you never answer my phone calls."

It was easy to tell that Onodera was enduring the situation, but there was a small crease between his eyebrows and his mouth was pressed tightly closed. "Hm.."

"You just don't want to see me pleased, I suppose," his mother quipped, brushing off the jab with a light laugh. "I just don't really understand why you brought your co-worker to meet us and not a nice girl."

Takano watched Onodera put down his drink and stand up, possibly about to be done with this conversation. "Father insisted on knowing who I work with, this was not a social meeting, mother. And no, I will not have lunch with you tomorrow. Excuse me."

"Ritsu, don't be rude, sit down!"

It was surprising to see Onodera acting so brash or bold, but recently Takano had noticed that Onodera had become more confident with himself. He had originally found this attractive, but now it was just concerning. He stood up as well, finding no reason not to leave. "I apologize for that, please excuse us. It was a pleasure making your acquaintance."

* * *

"You're upset," Takano found Onodera upstairs out on the balcony of their room―they had splurged and booked one of the nicer ones of the hotel. They had a nice view of the city, and if you looked hard enough into the distance, the ocean on the horizon. He knew that Ritsu didn't like the fancy setting but had wanted to indulge him anyway.

Onodera was pacing back and forth, but he didn't seem anxious only saddened by something, walking at a leisure pace from one end of the balcony to the other thoughtlessly.

Takano thought he hadn't heard him, but the other turned back to the sky and sighed. "I'm not."

"But you are," he walked over to his small lover and wasn't sure if it was okay to approach him or not. "Are you okay? Is it okay to hold you?"

Onodera turned to him and his expression crumbled briefly before he shook his head. "I'm not upset! She doesn't upset me." He stomped past Takano and went over to his bag.

"So that's why you avoided her phone calls since you came to Marukawa then? Because I also avoid phone calls from people who definitely don't upset me," the taller man crossed his arms and followed Onodera back inside.

"I'm fine," Onodera looked around for his mobile.

"We didn't have to come here," he pointed out. "You _are_ upset."

Onodera fussed with the zipper on his overnight bag before giving up on it and dropping his arms to his sides. "It doesn't feel real," he finally admitted. "Eight months ago…I… But I'm not upset!"

"Okay…? Ritsu, are you alright?" Takano stepped up next to him and put his hand on Onodera's shoulder.

"Please don't," Onodera brushed his hand away. "It's okay, but just don't."

Takano dropped his hand. "Fine, you're not upset. Whatever. But you can't deny that you will never find the right way to tell them why you don't already have a 'nice girl' in your life, and it will never be the right time. Your parents will always see me as just your boss and things will never be different."

Onodera looked up at him and his expression was distant now, and he looked at him with such a feeling in his eyes it was alarming. "Things change. They aren't always what they are."

"…Maybe," the other agreed reluctantly.

"We should get ready for bed." Takano watched Onodera walk off towards the bathroom, hoping that everything was fine, but he couldn't help but feel that a gap he had closed a long time ago between them hadn't just come back―it had widened.

Onodera came back out of the bathroom in his sleeping clothes and he went straight to the bed, taking the right side as usual―but not as usual, he curled up under the covers immediately with his back to the other side of the bed. Takano watched him and sighed, he had dressed for bed in the bedroom area and he also got into bed now.

He turned to face Onodera, and he wanted to say something but he knew he couldn't really understand the situation Onodera had always been in. He had always found arranged marriages silly but he knew it was not the case with Onodera's mother. It was easy to want to say something, but actually saying anything was a more difficult task.

So, deciding not to say a word, Takano sighed, rolled over, and went to sleep.

* * *

Takano blinked tiredly at the ceiling above him, feeling an odd sensation that told him something was wrong. In the fog of his sleep, there were memories floating in the back of his head that he hadn't thought of in years but that were so clear to him―as if they had happened just yesterday. He had been dreaming of something that woke him up with a start, and he took a deep breath and tried to brush it away as he sat up. For whatever reason, when he looked around he felt confused, a strange sense in his stomach that told him he was not seeing what he expected to see next to him.

"Takafumi," he sighed and shook his head, laying back down and draping himself over his boyfriend with a pout.

"Hm…?" the other man rolled over and embraced him in his arms. "Masamune? What's the matter?"

Takano shook his head again and coiled his arms around his lover. "I just… I had the strangest dream."

Yokozawa looked at him with dazed confusion but he rubbed his boyfriend's back and closed his eyes tiredly. "Of what?"

" _Who_ ," Takano corrected him. "It was a boy… a boy with emerald green eyes."

* * *

 **…I make poor life choices at 1AM but okay let's do this… Drop a review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Takano sat through breakfast in a daze. Yokozawa barely managed to drag him out of bed and get him properly dressed―though that wasn't so bad, they rarely went a morning without being distracted by each other in some way or another. For a reason that felt unusual but shouldn't have, Takano felt exhausted. A part of him knew it was only because he had stayed up late finishing his manuscript and the other part of him wasn't sure why that notion felt so strange and out of place. Still, as he sat at the narrow island of their kitchen, he couldn't help the feeling that he was missing something important.

Their apartment had an open concept, and as he ignored his food and took a sip of his orange juice, he looked out at their living area and took extra care to examine the spine of every book on a bookcase he was more than sure was his. "Where is all my manga?"

Yokozawa had been preoccupied fixing his tie and clearly rushing through his breakfast. "Hm? You don't like manga."

"...I think you're right," it felt true but it didn't _feel_ right.

Takano looked at Yokozawa then, and he felt more at ease just by the sight of him. The two of them had been friends since childhood, and they had been together and in love since high school―though Takano was sure Yokozawa had kept his feelings for him a secret for a short time before that. Yokozawa was tall with broad shoulders and a handsome face, and Takano loved the way his hair barely fell into his eyes and caused him to reach up to brush it back occasionally. It was an adorable mannerism for a grown man to have.

He actually couldn't remember a time in his life when he hadn't loved this person.

"Where are you rushing off to?" he stood up and took Yokozawa by the tie, tugging at it to loosen it and then readjusting it himself. "Much better."

"Did you forget I have an interview at Marukawa Shoten today?" Yokozawa gave him a quick kiss and a smile. "And thanks."

"Oh, that's right. I don't know why you don't just go to Onodera Publishing with me, I'll be editor in chief of my own department in a week, just watch," Takano brushed his boyfriend's shoulders down and smiled at him.

Yokozawa rolled his eyes at him. "I don't see why you want to be an editor when you're already an author, a pretty famous one at that."

"I'm fickle," Takano joked at him. "Anyway, literature has always been something I am interested in."

"I know," Yokozawa smiled at kissed him again. "I probably wouldn't love you if you didn't like books."

"I love you, too, and now you're late and I'm late for class," yawning, Takano put a hand to his mouth and stepped back at stretched. "I should have taken afternoon classes like you. Clearly I am not as smart."

"Don't forget we are invited to that awards party tonight, and you are intended to meet the son of the head of Onodera Publishing so we definitely can't miss it if you want to make a good first impression on your future boss," Yokozawa walked off into their bedroom but continued to talk.

Takano tried to stay interested in whatever it was Yokozawa was talking about after that, but he became distracted and sat back down, staring at what he knew was his collection of books but not being able to recognize any of them.

As Yokozawa walked back out, ready to be on his way, he spoke; "Oh, and Kisa-san is coming by to pick up your manuscript," he stopped at the island and finished his coffee, picking up the portfolio on the counter as he put the coffee mug back down. "You did finish it, right?"

"Um, yes," Takano wasn't all too sure now, everything felt off. "Um... I, how old am I?"

His boyfriend stopped for a second on his way out and looked at him. "Are you okay? Come on, Masamune, you're on your final weeks of university, get it together, idiot."

"Yeah, just kidding, I'll see you later," Takano sat back in his chair and watched him leave.

* * *

Despite his unfocused state of mind, he somehow remembered where he was supposed to be that day. He was just on his way off the elevator, manuscript in hand for his editor to pick up in the lobby of his building, when he ran straight into the other man anyway. "Oh, hey."

"Oh, look. You weren't trying to sneak off before I got ahold of your manuscript, were you?" Kisa Shouta glared up at him but shook it away quickly. "I don't like lecturing you on punctuality, Takano-sensei."

"Don't worry, it's right here," Takano handed him the large manila envelope. "And I'm not that bad, am I?"

Kisa took the envelope and looked relieved. Every time he stopped by he always seemed to be either in a hurry or completely overwhelmed, and sometimes both. When Takano tried to ask if he was okay, the smaller man would just say he was tired because he stayed up late. Occasionally, Takano wondered what kept him up so late but he never dared to ask.

"You took three trips to Paris last year to visit a family member we both know doesn't exist, each one strategically set on the exact days your manuscript was due," his editor was shifting through the pages now, briefly glancing down each one before shuffling them back into a neat stack. "And then you suddenly remembered your manuscripts had been finished a week before you left anyway."

"It was imperative that I get pictures of the Iffle Tower at the same time on each of those dates," Takano said with a straight face, but there was definitely deviousness in his gaze.

The smaller man shook his head but he bowed quickly. "Thank you for your hard work, I will see you at two to go over any remarks."

"Kisa-san," Takano stopped him before he could walk off, feeling as if he needed to say this. "Thank _you_ for your hard work."

Kisa looked up at him and Takano could swear his face turned a little pink. "O-oh, yes, sure. Thanks."

* * *

Takano decided to walk to university that day. He wasn't sure what compelled him to do it, but he didn't go against the instinct. He took his time on his way, folding his arms behind his head and leaning it back to look at the clouds. It looked like it was going to rain.

He was walking towards the campus when he turned the corner and nearly ran straight into someone walking in his direction.

 _"_ _Senpai! I love you!"_

 _"_ _Yes, I know, I love you, too."_

A memory was trying to resurface in the back of his head but he knew it couldn't possibly be real. Yet, those green eyes staring back at him stopped him in his tracks and he stood still. The man the green eyes belonged to was breathless, and his cheeks were pink and he was oddly beautiful in his state of disarray, his light brown hair silky and fine as it fell into his face.

He stopped where he was, too, taking big breaths and finally looking at Takano with relief and gasping, "I finally found you!"

Takano was confused by this. "Okay…" he stepped around the young man and started to walk away from him, realizing he did not have time to deal with a crazy person.

To his alarm, the other guy started to walk after him, babbling on about something Takano barely understood. "I'm so _not_ doing this again! I don't think my blood pressure could take it. It was bad enough to first time around, especially when I couldn't remember who I was. Takano-san, in this world I'm already the head of my father's company! They're supposed to unveil it tonight at some awards ceremony can you believe that? It's kind of _awful_ and it took me forever to find you this time! And yesterday it was like we'd never even met? But I was already in university and you were there, too, and we were taking the same final and you remembered me but I didn't know you―?"

"How do you know my name?" Takano stopped and turned around, causing the other man to nearly run into him again. "Look, you must have me confused with someone else. I don't know you."

"Oh…" the smaller man stopped and his face paled, then completely crumpled as if he were heartbroken. He blinked up at him quickly and his expression nearly made Takano's heart hurt.

Regardless of that, Takano was getting weirded out. "You're cute or whatever, but I'm seeing someone, so―"

"No, I, um," taking a step back, the stranger put his hands to his chest as if he didn't know what to do with himself. "Right… you're in university, right? So Yokozawa-san he must be…"

Takano felt a sense of anger and frustration at this, because he was protective of Yokozawa and confused by his memories. "How do you know that? Are you stalking me?"

The other shook his head quickly, his face serious as he looked like he was fighting back tears. "No! I, never mind. I… you're right, maybe you are happier this way…"

"Uh, right?" Takano was about to step back to cross the street and get away from the weird person as quickly as possible.

But abruptly, the stranger gasped with terror and pulled him back towards himself before Takano could take a step. " _No_!"

"What―" Takano was going to be angry as he found himself falling forward, but a bus barreled by just as he was jerked away from the street by the stranger, and they both fell down on the sidewalk. Their stuff clattered to the ground and Takano held himself up and looked behind him to see the bus drive away. "How did you…?"

When he turned to look down at the stranger, his heart felt tight as he watched the smaller man's face crumple as he broke down in tears and sobbed, his hands going up to cover his face. "I couldn't let it happen again, all I did was watch," he wept. "The first time."

Takano felt the adrenaline making his blood rush but he looked at this person with confusion and shock and murmured, "Who are you?"

"I don't know!" the stranger hiccuped.

It took a moment to gather himself, but Takano sat up and leaned back, letting out a heavy breath as it registered finally that he had just nearly died. "…why do I get the feeling, this feeling like it has to be you…?"

* * *

"So, tell me again, just one more time? You think we met in high school?" Takano leaned back in the chair of the coffee shop they had come to sit in. After helping the stranger pick up his things, he offered to buy him a cup of tea to calm their nerves. "And we were in love? Then we broke up over a misunderstanding, and met up ten years later and fell in love again? And in _this_ scenario, I edit shoujo manga?"

"Yes!" the person he now knew as Onodera Ritsu was becoming frustrated with him, but he looked like he was containing it pretty well. Takano wondered if he spent a lot of time bottling up his feelings like that and wanted to mention that it was bad for his health but decided against it.

"Hm, I don't really buy it," Takano argued, setting down his cup of tea. He liked this coffee shop―he frequented it often with his friends from university. It was old but kept up to date by the owners, with a color palette of autumn browns and golds and pale blues.

"Your father is a surgeon and your mother is a lawyer, your favorite food is beef and you're near sighted because we read too many books when we were teenagers," the other exclaimed, tucking his hair back from his eyes. "I only found you because you told me where you lived when you were in university after we got back together. You have a _cat_!"

"I don't have a cat," Takano raised his eyebrows. But that was the only thing he could argue.

"You met Yokozawa-san in university and now you work together at Marukawa," Onodera continued to explain, and then he picked up his cup of tea with trembling hands and took a sip. His eyebrows were creased and his eyes still looked like they would well up with tears at any moment.

"Look, even if I wanted to believe you, I can't. Yokozawa-san and I have been friends since childhood," Takano leaned forward and looked at him with a hard expression. "If all of that is real why don't I remember it? Maybe I'm not this person that you think I am."

Onodera shrugged and shook his head, looking around and seeming devastated. "I don't know that's just how it is sometimes. I know that you're here, too, because you remembered everything yesterday!"

"Yesterday I was in my apartment all day writing my manuscript," Takano recounted, and it felt so real to him he couldn't doubt it. "I never left my desk."

The other looked at him and his green eyes were sad. "You _did_ remember yesterday. But it's okay, it won't matter tomorrow, we'll wake up and everything will be different. So it's okay."

"You don't look okay," Takano commented. "For a crazy person."

Onodera stood up and shrugged again, sighing heavily and sniffling. "Yeah. Good-bye, I guess. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

Takano raised his head to watch him leave, but found that he couldn't. "Good-bye."

* * *

Despite the nagging sense that told him missing the meeting with his editor was a terrible idea, Takano missed the meeting with his editor anyway. He decided after nearly being hit by a bus, he needed a bit of time to breathe. Without considering it, he got on the first bus he could catch and headed for the beach.

As he expected, Yokozawa called him on the way. "What do you mean you didn't go to your meeting? Kisa-san is going to be really mad at you."

"Yes, yes, I know," Takano brushed away his concern and stared up at the ceiling of the bus he was on. The enormous transportation vehicle didn't seem as dangerous when he was on it. He wondered if it was more likely that someone would die in a bus crash then by getting hit by a bus and contemplated this as Yokozawa talked to him.

"Masamune, are you okay?" his boyfriend's voice was low and concerned. "You seemed off this morning, I'm worried about you."

"Please don't, look, I have to go, I'll see you later," he hung up without even letting Yokozawa say anything else.

Just as he put his phone in his pocket, he also stood up and got off the bus. The clouds over him were definitely darkening, but he took a deep breath and headed down the sidewalk and then onto the beach. He had never been to the beach with Yokozawa, now that he thought about it. He wondered what had compelled him to be there, the beach wasn't exactly his favorite place in the world. Still, it felt right to be in this place, so he walked forward without looking back.

He was about to head towards one of the docks, when he spotted the person from before, standing on the beach by the shore, throwing small pebbles into the waves.

 _Small world,_ he thought. Not considering that this person was probably crazy, Takano walked over to him. "It's you."

Onodera looked up and his expression was alarmed until he saw who it was and he relaxed. "Oh, yeah. Hi."

"What are you doing here?" Takano asked him somberly.

Onodera turned back to the ocean and threw another pebble, sighing and looking off into the horizon and looking like he was remembering a fond memory. "We came here once. I was stuck in a bad place and you were fighting with your mom and she said you were going to move away so we went to the beach. I thought it would be a nice memory but you―Takano-san, _my_ Takano-san, he doesn't even remember it. It feels like a dream, like a stolen memory that I shouldn't even have because it doesn't belong to me."

 _"_ _Where are we going?"_

 _"_ _Somewhere far away."_

"…Somewhere far away," Takano said softly.

"Hm?" Onodera looked at him a bit startled. "Are you having a flash back? Yeah, I didn't like them either. But that memory is actually not yours, I don't think."

"I… remember things that aren't right," Takano admitted quietly. "Things that haven't happened to me."

Onodera nodded at him, dropping all of his pebbles and hugging himself around the waist. "It'll go away, tomorrow when we wake up as completely different people."

Takano could see how distressed the smaller man was, and for whichever unreasonable reason, it made him feel strange inside as if the fact that the stranger was distressed caused his chest to strain and his mind to fret about it. He didn't want to see Onodera be sad, so he decided against his better judgment to give him the benefit of the doubt. "So what do you do? I mean, in this universe or whatever," Takano asked him without thinking.

Onodera looked surprised that he would ask, but he sighed and fell back on the sand, sitting down in it and leaning back on his arms. His expression was distant and sad, and he looked honestly beautiful in the blue lighting of the cloudy day. He sighed and closed his eyes and leaned his head back. "I'm on my way to being the head of my father's company. I wanted to edit literature, but I guess this me could do that instead."

"I thought you said we edit manga," the other asked, sitting down next to him.

"Yeah, we do. I worked for my dad but I left because I wanted to do things on my own merit," the smaller man curled his knees up against his chest and folded his arms on them. "I actually really like it. I liked working with you."

Takano smiled at this, and he didn't know why. "You don't sound so crazy anymore."

Onodera looked over at him and smiled. It was such a sweet sight and it felt like Takano never got to see that type of smile as much as he wanted; a weird thought to have about someone he had only met that day. "Because you're the one who is. But this time we're both here."

"Well, say that I do believe what you told me, from the sound of it you learned how to do this alternate universes thing on your own," Takano shrugged at him. "Maybe it's my turn. Maybe it is my turn to try to understand."

Onodera leaned back, too, shrugging. "Yeah, maybe."

"I mean, normally I would just call you insane and get far away from you," Takano admitted. "But something just feels wrong."

Onodera shivered from the chill in the sudden wind and moved closer to the other man as if it were the natural thing to do. Then he seemed to remember something and moved away. "Sorry."

"That's okay," Takano ran his hands through his hair and leaned forward on the sand. "So what is it like there?"

"You don't have to humor me," the other looked back at him and smiled still as sadly as before.

"I suppose not. But you look like you're going to cry," Takano pointed out to him. "I may not be the person you want me to be but I am still a decent guy."

Onodera laughed, this seemed to startle him and he put his hands on his mouth, looking out at the waves with a troubled expression. "Yeah, you are."

"You have a nice laugh," the words were out before he could stop them.

"Th-thank you," it looked like he couldn't help it now and Onodera smiled and laughed again. "Takano-san, normally you tell me I'm too frigid."

"Because you are your mother's son," Takano rolled his eyes―then he stopped and felt confused. "I don't know why I said that."

"You're remembering me," this seemed to relieve the smaller man and he leaned over almost excitedly, blinking up at Takano with those clear green eyes and smiling hopefully. " _Please remember me_."

Takano blinked back at him, surprised by the boldness of his movements, but he was so dazzled by the green color of those eyes that he couldn't help himself. He found himself leaning forward to close the distance between them, connecting them with a kiss that, though it should have, didn't surprise either of them at all. Onodera leaned into him, breathing softly against his lips and sighing happily.

When Takano pulled back, he blinked at Onodera, at those pretty green eyes and his small perfect nose, he looked at his soft lips and he noticed how cute he looked with his hair all messed up from a day of frustration, and he closed his eyes and he smiled. "You found me."

* * *

 **i don't even know. ok. i don't even know. drop a review! next chapter has some cute fluffy stuff.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Takano sat up in his bed and took in a sharp breath, blinking slowly and looking straight ahead, trying to calm the familiar but not familiar feeling of panic rising in his stomach. It was familiar because he remembered it from the time in university after Ritsu Oda had left his life and the rest of his world had started to fall apart―waking up and feeling like a mountain was pressing down on his chest, crushing him. It was not familiar though, because after reuniting with and being with Onodera for such a long time, he had come to forget it.

He wondered if what he had just experienced was just a bizarre dream, but it felt too real. The realization that his strangely realistic dream had in fact _not_ been a dream was confirmed when he looked around his bedroom―or rather, the bedroom he had just woken up in. He knew it wasn't their bedroom from the new apartment they had just moved into together because the curtains were different and this room had a hideous beige carpet he was sure Onodera was the culprit of purchasing. Takano had coerced his lover into getting all wood floors in their new place―their original new place.

He looked to his left and it was a comfort and a relief to find Onodera asleep in the bed next to him, and this sleeping man may not have been his Onodera, but Takano was sure that it was better than any universe where they didn't know each other at all. He didn't realize he would turn out to be.

"...fuck," he squeezed his eyes shut and hoped when he opened them again things would be normal, but everything was the same and still surreal when he looked around again. "How could I exist in a world without you?"

Onodera chose that moment to roll over on the bed and, possibly instinctively, he reached over to Takano. "Mmm... why are you up?"

"Do you remember any of that?" Takano asked him flat outright.

"Hm? Any of what?" Onodera squeezed his eyes and then looked up, reaching up to rub his face as he sat up. "What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream again?"

Shaking his head, Takano put his hands on his boyfriend's face and kissed him. "No, forget about it. Come here."

With a smile, Onodera accepted the kiss and leaned up into it, laughing. It was a soft laugh, sweet and light, and it was a surprise to hear it for Takano. This did not mean he didn't enjoy it―he pushed his small lover back into the pillows, glancing up only briefly to see that it was nearly six in the morning.

"I think..." he stopped and blinked at Onodera slowly, sadly. "...I'm having a weird dream."

Those gorgeous and startling green eyes looked right back up at him. There was confusion and curiosity, but there was also something else. It was honesty―a soft honest affection that Takano hadn't seen in the green of those eyes in over twelve years, back when they had been young and stupidly in love. Now they were older and probably still just as stupid but for whatever reason he knew he was not as old as he should have been.

"You're being weird," Onodera smiled big at him and kissed him again. "You look sad. I don't like when you get sad."

It was like Onodera didn't remember what it was like when they had been apart. Takano looked down at him and shook his head and smiled back. This was a Ritsu that needed to be protected. "Ritsu, how long have we been together now?"

Onodera looked worried now, with this cute little confused smile on his face. "What? Since high school, like seven years now."

"So you never went to study abroad?" Takano asked him, getting comfortable on the bed and resting his chin on Onodera's chest. "You never left me?"

"Did you have a really weird dream where I left you?" the other put his hands on Takano's hair and started brushing it down. He combed it for a moment before he smiled and laughed and said, "Your hair looks dumb."

Takano's face felt hot and pink, something unexpected but not unwelcome, and he smiled, too, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend. "So does yours. You didn't answer my question."

"Oh, I thought you were joking," the other had a worried smile and his eyebrows were creased. "Of course I went abroad, Masamune, but you went with me, we went... together. It was just a dream, I'm right here, we have never been apart."

With a deep breath, Takano let Onodera brush his hair down as he pressed their foreheads together. "It was just a bad dream."

"But I'm here now," Onodera smiled, and it was the purest thing in the world to see.

* * *

"Masamune? Wake up or you'll be late."

Takano tried to crawl back into consciousness but the bed was so comfortable it was nearly impossible. He finally breathed in heavily and groaned as he rolled over. He wondered where he was but when he opened his eyes he recognized the new curtains from their conversation that morning. He had never felt this type of ache or tiredness before―but it looked like in this universe he was definitely not a morning person. Later, he would realize he just wasn't a _being awake_ type of person at all.

 _At least I'm still in_ this _one..._ he thought as he sat up and rubbed his face, blinking blearily. "When did I start sleeping in so much?"

"You always sleep in," Onodera leaned down over him and smiled brightly. "Good morning. Well, noon, _after_ noon, four in the afternoon, to be exact. Breakfast? Its small today, since we have that thing."

Takano blinked at the incredibly cheerful and bright face of his lover and felt worn out. "That's practically dinner. You don't cook."

"No, silly, _you_ don't cook," the other tilted his head to the side cutely and placed a tray of food in front of Takano, "Drink your orange juice. Honestly, we can't have this argument every morning. You're too busy with your writing to do anything else just let me take care of you. I can handle work and being a good boyfriend at the same time."

Takano stared at the glass of juice and at the small but delicious-looking breakfast displayed perfectly in front of him and felt bitter. "...I don't like this universe anymore."

"You're being weird again," Onodera placed a kiss on Takano's forehead. "Takafumi-kun is here for us in an hour, you need to be up and ready."

"Yokozawa is here, too?" this he hadn't meant to say out loud, but since Onodera was already walking into their large and spacious closet, it seemed he hadn't heard. "And you're on familiar name basis...bizarre."

Onodera walked back out of the closet holding an outfit for his boyfriend in his arms. "Sorry, what was that?"

"I said your hair looks dumb," Takano looked up at him and smiled weakly.

"So does yours," Onodera smiled back at him as he put everything down at the foot of the bed. "Now hurry up and eat and get in the shower, you know how Takafumi-kun gets. I swear if I hadn't seen you and Usami-sensei in the same room, I'd say you're both the same person by the way you act."

"I'm nothing like that brat. I resent that, and take offense."

"Don't you _always_."

* * *

Nearly an hour after waking, Takano was showered, dressed, and combing his hair back with his fingers as he walked out of their bedroom. "Ritsu?"

"...so he _says_ , and I say I'll do that however I please," a familiar voice was saying something to Onodera. "Because obviously I don't know how to do my own damn job. I'm not an editor but I could do his job, too!"

"That's bold of him considering he failed to get his author's work in last month, didn't you say?" Onodera was leaning against the back of their fancy sofa, adjusting his tie. He wasn't wearing a suit or anything, just some black slacks and a light baby-blue dress shirt. Judging by all of their attire, which was business casual at best, they were going to some type of formal meet up. "But honestly, if I had an author such as Ijuuin-sensei I probably would be bitter, too. This is why I never did get into the manga editing business."

Takano walked up to them and rolled his eyes as if it were something he would usually do. "You talk as if Usami-sensei isn't just as bad. If not worse form what you tell me."

"Oh, you haven't met a bratty author until you've met Ijuuin-sensei, Masamune, which you have," Yokozawa grinned at him. "I'm surprised he hasn't gone through more editors than he has. Though I guess this is where you hold the record, how many is it now? Six?"

This Yokozawa seemed to be less uptight then the original, and Takano wondered what their relationship was like. He tried to recall if they'd shared any type of carnal relationship, but he couldn't find anything in his current memories. "Eight," he replied, his expression completely blank. "If you count Onodera that one time when Sagi-sensei quit on me for a week."

"Mph, Sagi-san didn't quit for a week, he had a mental breakdown and was hospitalized for six days," Onodera let out a frustrated sigh and he tugged at his tie. "The one thing I cannot do as well as you, Takafumi-kun, is tie a tie."

"Idiot, you're helpless," Yokozawa rolled his eyes and went to fix it for him, tugging Onodera close. "What would either of you do without me?"

"Excuse me, which one of us is the one and only editor of the great Usami Akihiko? That's right, _not you_ ," Onodera swatted him away but he was definitely flustered. "I cook, I clean, I work eighty-seven hours a week and yet here I am still unappreciated by the both of you."

Though out of his original character, Takano couldn't deny that his boyfriend was definitely cute. His attitude was more open, more playful, but there was something subtly shy about him―something Onodera hadn't been since Takano had known him by 'Oda'. He also couldn't deny that the way his friend had pulled Onodera over to him bothered him to no end. Seeing them be friendly made him jealous. Almost irrationally.

Yokozawa actually laughed with Onodera and shook his head. "If anyone is unappreciated, it has to be me."

"You're just the same as you were in uni, Takafumi-kun, no wonder you haven't found yourself a nice guy to put up with you!" Onodera teased him.

"Well, I did but Masamune saw you first," Yokozawa joked back. "Did I tell you we have a new author? His name is Sayato-sensei, apparently he is only seventeen, but his work is impressive."

Takano looked up at this, barely managing to take his gaze away from Onodera, who he had been quietly observing. That didn't make sense. Sayato-sensei was nineteen, which meant at this point in his life he should have only been around twelve or thirteen. "Is he now? Don't be so impressed, my first works were published when I was sixteen."

"Literature and manga are nothing alike," Yokozawa pointed out, sounding like he was bragging.

"Clearly, literature is superior," Onodera smiled sweetly at the both of them, and the sight alone was enough to leave them speechless. "Come on, if we're late again Usami-sensei will become whiny and Misaki-san doesn't like for him to make a fuss in public, and neither do I."

* * *

On the driver over, Takano sat in the back with Onodera, only because he insisted his boyfriend sit in the back with him. "Just because."

Onodera only gave him a look and then smiled and laughed. "Okay."

Takano spent the whole driver wondering where they were going and quietly looking out the window. Clearly they weren't attending some kind of business related thing, but they were going somewhere nice and probably high-end just going by their formal wear. If he knew where they were going, he didn't remember it, and he wondered why that was if he was technically meant to be the Takano of the universe he was currently in. He had memories of a life he knew he had not lived, so he could only wonder and try to make sense of it.

Half way through their short trip, Onodera leaned over and asked, "You're being quiet. Are you feeling okay today?"

"Hm?" Takano shook his head and looked away from the passing view outside the window. "Yeah, tired. I stayed up late and didn't sleep well. I'll be fine."

Onodera just took his hand and squeezed it. "Okay. Tell me if you feel unwell."

Takano looked at his boyfriend and felt an unsettling feeling that he did not want to love this person but he did. He felt an ache inside of him for the Onodera of his own universe; the flustered and stubborn guy he had fallen in love with all over again. It was hard to imagine never seeing that angry and red face again and Takano dropped his forehead on the current Onodera's shoulder. "I love you."

"And I love you, too," the other smiled, and it wasn't comforting this time, this time it just hurt.

* * *

When they arrived at the restaurant he didn't recognize it, so Takano pressed up against Onodera and asked, "Is this place new?"

"Yes, it just opened tonight, Usami-sensei was invited to the grand opening and since he doesn't like this sort of thing but its good for publicity, he invited us as well," Onodera explained. "I'm sorry it was so last minute, I know you were on a deadline and you pushed yourself to finish last night so you could come with me."

"You know I don't mind," Takano shrugged and followed along, looking up and admiring the soft ambiance lighting and glittering glass ceiling. He wanted to go along with things, because despite the understanding that he was not where he should be, it felt wrong to put the him from the current universe in a bad place when he was clearly somewhere his original self had only ever dreamed of being. So all he added was, "Free food."

Yokozawa was walking ahead of them as always, letting their server take them to their table. Takano didn't have to wonder where they would be seated for long, he recognized his long-time friend Usami Akihiko at one of the fancy tables, his chin rested on the palm of his hand as he leaned towards a smaller and cuter young man. Takano remembered they'd grown up together, and this didn't seem right but he knew it was the truth―they were even the same age in this universe.

 _If I say something... do something, will it change anything?_ He considered as they reached their table. No. That couldn't possibly be it; Onodera had already previously explained they weren't time traveling.

"Onodera-kun! We were just about to order our food!" Misaki Takahashi was twenty-one, with a bright smile on his face and boyish brown hair barely brushing his eyelashes. Takano knew he and Onodera had been friends growing up, despite recalling never having seen this person before in his original life. Still, the younger man stood up to greet them, then shot a look at his lover. "Usagi-san."

"I don't want to be here," but the other man stood up anyway as Onodera greeted the other guests at the table. "Hey, Takano."

"Yo," Takano greeted him, feeling bored already―he'd never found these types of gatherings bothersome before, but it seemed growing up with the popular but bratty and broody author had altered his likes and dislikes. "Why do you keep getting me dragged into these things?"

"If I suffer so do you," Usami took a seat along with the rest of them, and he sighed but easily flashed a crescent of a smile at his editor. "Onodera-san, glad you could make it. What was it you said once about being prompt?"

Onodera's face colored red and he rubbed the back of his head as he sat down next to Takano. "Sorry we're late."

"You've never been on time to anything in your life," Yokozawa teased his pale-haired friend, sitting on the other side of Takano. "Ironic."

"Any other occasion, you wouldn't say something so bold," Usami gazed at his friend, as if to dare him. "You only talk and joke with me like that when you've already been drinking, Yokozawa-san."

Yokozawa scowled at him. "I drove here, and I'm completely sober. Not for very long, I'm sure though."

"That's not a very smart thing to say in front of your superior," Kirishima pointed out.

"You're only technically my boss. Who invited you, anyway?" Yokozawa had a slight look of annoyance on his face as he glanced sideways at the tall and handsome man at his left. "Usami?"

Usami shrugged and was too busy paying attention to Takahashi. "We're old friends."

"I've known him for a week," Kirishima said bluntly, but he was obviously joking. "I didn't know you all were acquainted, Yokozawa-san. I didn't think a bear like you could keep such easy company."

Onodera raised his head and looked over at them. "Kirishima-san was to accompany Ijuuin-sensei to this opening dinner, it was he that got us the invitations from the beginning, but it seems Ijuuin-sensei is not here, is he?"

"He has a deadline, if only he were as hard working as your authors, Onodera-san," Kirishima flicked a hair out of his face and looked over at Yokozawa with glittering eyes. "Or as hard working as you, maybe I would have less gray hair. But I suppose Shizuko will have to handle him tonight, since I decided to come without him."

Something told Takano that there was definitely a 'thing' happening between the Yokozawa and the Japun Department's editor-in-chief and Takano wasn't sure why he was so relieved. When he realized it was because he was jealous of Yokozawa paying any attention to Onodera, he felt ridiculous. He was starting to let the truths of this universe get to him and he wasn't sure it was a good idea that happen. But he knew they were all friends somehow, despite the fact there was no possible way a universe could exist where he was close to any of the others that weren't Onodera or Yokozawa. Still, apparently there was and it was a bizarre sight and sound, to see and witness a man like Yokozawa tease people like Usami and Kirishima and Onodera so openly.

"I don't like green peppers," Usami put his hand to his chin again and looked bored. "I want eggs."

"Usagi-san, please don't act like this in public," Takahashi seemed to be working hard to keep the older man in line. "I'll make you eggs for breakfast tomorrow."

"I want eggs now, I like eggs," Usami insisted, a smile playing on his lips. "And the most expensive wine they have."

"No, Usagi-san. Please don't be picky, and please don't overspend."

Yokozawa rolled his eyes and told the server his order before he looked to Usami and said, "You're a child, Usami-sensei."

"I'm no worse than that Ijuuin Kyo," Usami pointed out, looking at Takahashi. "Still, Misaki seemed more excited about meeting him than having dinner with us in general. I'm glad he didn't come."

"Usagi-san!" Takahashi put his hands on his face and got red all over. "It was gonna be my first time meeting him, you know! He's the artist of my favorite manga, that's a big deal!"

"Don't say that in front of him, it'll go straight to his head," Kirishima commented, ordering his food as well.

Takano felt rising annoyance, not just for himself but for Usami as well. He leaned over on the table and rolled his eyes. "I've met him, trust me, he's not that big of a deal."

"What was he like?" despite Takano's comment, Takahashi still lit up at the mention of his favorite mangaka.

"Dramatic," Takano and Usami said at the same time. Usami then added, "See, if Takano agrees with me you know it has to be true."

Onodera frowned at his silly author and then looked at his boyfriend, "Please don't encourage him. He'll go on a tangent."

"If neither of you do," Kirishima took a sip of his water. "I probably will, he's not even here and he's already ruining my evening by being the center of attention as usual. Amazing though he is, that's something at least."

Onodera and Takahashi started to talk about something else, some book or manga, and the other men occasionally commented here and there, laughing and having a nice time with each other. Takano found himself spacing out, which wasn't something he did very often. He found it difficult to focus and the troublesome lack of grounding was getting on his nerves. All he could think about was how much he loved his boyfriend, and the next scenes in the upcoming volume of his novel.

"Takano-san?" Yokozawa's voice brought him back to the conversation and to the reality he still couldn't believe was real.

"Hm?" Takano raised his head.

Onodera gave him another worried look. That made seven concerned looks or gazes in the past two hours. "Takano-san, you were spacing out again. We were just talking about Sayato-sensei's publishings, are you okay? You've hardly touched your food."

Takano could only look down at the plate in front of him. He didn't even remember ordering it or seeing anyone bring it to their table. But somehow they all had food and it had been more than two hours since they'd sat down at the table. "Sorry. Please excuse me."

He could tell they were all looking after him as he stood up and made his way out onto the veranda. Something terrible was coming back to him―memories from a time he had struggled to forget. The dark place he had been had returned to him at such an odd time; when he was meant to be laughing with his friends, men he considered his family, he was actually drowning in the dark place once again, after so much time.

It was too difficult to be in that type of atmosphere. It felt wrong and intrusive. He wasn't sure if it was how easily happy they all were, or the fact that Yokozawa seemed to like Onodera just a bit too much. He wasn't sure if he was just losing his mind from how surreal things felt. Takano leaned over the metal rails of the balcony, taking a deep breath and letting the fresh air calm his nerves before he stepped back and paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. _Why is this happening? I want to go back._

But back to where? To what? He and Onodera had definitely had a misunderstanding, but after waking up and not remembering, and then waking up again, their disagreement felt far away. It felt almost too distant to have been the real thing. But it had happened, Takano had to believe that was the universe he belonged in.

 _"Things change, they don't always stay the same."_

"Things change," Takano mumbled, stepping up to the edge again and looking out at the stars that were vast and made him feel empty. "But how do they change back?"

He was losing himself in the person he was meant to be in that universe, and the more he felt like _him_ , the less he was himself. He hadn't been here that long but he already hated it. There was something dark inside of this person and he wasn't sure why or where it came from. This version of himself had the life he had once hoped for and yet he didn't even want it.

"Masamune?"

Takano turned around quickly and he knew before seeing Onodera standing there that looking at him was a mistake. Those green eyes and brown hair and the sigh of that cute worried expression made his heart skip and he felt nervous all over. This time he couldn't even tell if it was him or the him from that universe that was feeling that way. He wanted so badly for this person to love him but still didn't believe he did.

"Are you okay?" Onodera brushed his hair back and stepped towards him. "I know its a lot, I know you don't really like crowds..."

"Don't touch me," jerking his arm away, Takano stepped back before Onodera could reach him. "I don't want to be here. I want to go back now."

The light-haired man blinked at him with confusion and worry. "You want to go home? We can go, we don't have to stay―"

"No," Takano squeezed his eyes shut and then tried to blink himself back to his reality. The part of him that was the person this Onodera loved was panicking.

"Masamune, what's wrong? You've been strange all night, you're not yourself," Onodera stepped over to him and took his hands, tugging them down and pulling him close. "It's okay, I know you don't like to be social, you didn't have to come if you didn't want to and we can go home. It's alright, because I'm here―"

Something frustrating and distressed snapped inside of Takano and he pushed Onodera back. He was angry at the type of thoughts the current Takano had, and he was mad that the him from that universe was someone who could feel and think so selfishly. "No," he said sternly, a glare starting to crease his eyebrows. "You are _not_ my Ritsu. My Ritsu would never look at me the way you do."

 _"I just don't know what to believe... But I do believe one thing, and that is you are_ not _my Ritsu."_

Onodera stepped back from him and the expression on his face was one Takano had never seen before. He was afraid.

 _"I don't really know how to help you."_

"I want to go home," Takano couldn't stop himself from saying selfish or hurtful things. His lack of self-control was upsetting but he still couldn't stop and he couldn't understand why. "I don't want to be here with you anymore."

His boyfriend looked hesitant and then he shook his head and tried to smile. It was weak and small, but it was still shy and helpless. "W-we can go but―this was a big deal for Kirishima-san..."

Takano wasn't sure what to do but he knew he couldn't live in a universe where his Ritsu had never been tainted by their separation. He knew his words were hurtful but he still said them anyway. "Nothing is different about you here at all, still so eager to please. Don't be so _naive_ , _don't_ let Yokozawa touch you so easily, _don't_ look at life through those big and innocent eyes, like an idiot! I can't stand that the you in this universe doesn't remember that you hurt me! Things never changed here, things stayed the same, this universe is _cruel_."

There were just things that couldn't be taken back. Onodera looked at him and he stood there and he was frozen in place. "S...stop, I'm s-sorry, stop! I'm sorry..."

"You don't even know why," Takano stepped around the person that was not his boyfriend and walked away.

"Takano-san!"

* * *

"Takano-san, get up! _Takano-san_!"

Jerking up into a sitting position, Takano put a hand to his head and came back with a piece of toner that had stuck to his forehead. He gasped with alarm and rubbed his cheek as he tried to reorient himself now that he was awake. "E-eh? What!"

"What are you doing on the floor?" cold green eyes squinted down at him, the pair of glasses in front of them not being enough to conceal the glare or the crease of those perfect eyebrows.

Takano shook his head and blinked tiredly up at his wicked and tyrannical boss. "Nothing at _all_."

"Are you an idiot?" the other man put his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, that's exactly what I am," Takano scowled up at him.

Onodera Ritsu glared at him and then shook his head as he walked off towards his desk, "Useless. Get back to work!"

* * *

 **this took forever...if its not clear, takano had depression in this universe. writing a happy ritsu that never had his heart broken literally breaks my heart into pieces but there it is & then i ruin it bcs i like to make you cry ..thanks to judrop, otakugirl2392, and tsuxi-shima on ****tumbl for the help w/ the dinner bit (at 1am no less lmao) ur all greatly appreciated**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The last thing Takano remembered from the previous night was falling asleep on the subway. He'd had no direction of where he was going when he'd gotten on it; he had only known he didn't want to be _there_. Now, he rubbed the back of his head and felt an ache where Onodera had nudged him with his foot to wake him up. It was cruel but only fair, considering he'd fallen asleep at work.

 _What the hell…_ he got up and slid into his desk chair—the chair Onodera usually occupied in their office.

"Are you okay, Takacchan?" Kisa barely lifted his head off his desk, brushing a candy wrapper off his laptop and looking exhausted. "It's your first Hell Week, I think you passed out."

Takano leaned back on his chair and shook the sleep off, groaning. "I guess I did."

"Kit Kat?" Kisa pushed the small bright red chocolate bar towards him. "Chocolate helps."

Nodding at him, Takano took the chocolate and peeled off the wrapper; normally he wasn't big on sweets but something told him he hadn't eaten all day. "Thanks."

The office was an obvious disaster, but it was familiar enough to him that he was almost comforted by the mess. He took a bite from a piece of chocolate and looked back down at his work. The pens and drafts and papers in front of him brought back a sense of reality and Takano remembered the thing he liked to do most in life with a familiar fondness.

"What do you mean, Sayato-sensei barricaded himself in the bathroom? Haruki-san, get him out of there right now!" Onodera stood up at his desk and slammed his free hand down on the table. "His manuscript is due tomorrow morning!"

"Oh, boy," Kisa looked at him with alarm and then back down at his own work. "That doesn't sound good, hm, Takacchan?"

"Sayato-sensei… That's Sayato Mitsuo, right? The creator of _Bright Prince_?" Takano opened his laptop and started to type something but stopped. "Isn't he like seventeen? No wonder he's acting like that."

Kisa leaned over, munching on some chips and shrugging. "I think so, but I've never met him. Onodera-san is his editor, and the only one of us who has. Look at all of you, being amazing at your ages. When I was twenty-two I was barely finishing university, you're already an editor!"

"Technically, I just started," Takano commented, but he felt his face get a little red. "But thank you."

"You," Onodera got their attention with the sternness of his voice and Takano looked up to find his boss pointing at him. "Come with me, we need to go see Sayato-sensei right now."

Takano looked at Kisa with wide eyes, the other just shrugged and handed him another chocolate bar. "Good luck."

Takano didn't say anything but he stood up and grabbed his bag.

* * *

There were other people on the subway train with them, so their trip to the home of their department's number one artist was a quiet one. Onodera kept glancing over at him and then away, an irritated expression on his face. He was sitting back in his seat, one leg crossed over the other and a hand on his chin.

"Sayato-sensei will come around," Takano offered finally, speaking quietly and staring at the floor. He wanted to add that he knew this from experience with the original version of the kid, but he kept that bit to himself.

"He fucking better," the other man was definitely annoyed. "He's being a complete brat, we have one artist younger than him and even she's more mature. I don't think I have the patience for this today."

Takano actually wanted to laugh; just a few days ago Onodera had been the one telling him that he needed to be more lenient. But he kept his face expressionless as he sat next to his boss. "Perhaps something unrelated to his work is preoccupying him."

"Or some _one_ ," this time, Onodera scowled behind his glasses. "That assistant of his is always distracting him."

"Haruki-san means well," Takano commented, leaning forward in his seat and resting his elbows on his knees.

"...I don't recall mentioning his name," looking at him with those intense green eyes of his, Onodera gave Takano a look.

It was almost unsettling to be stared at like that and Takano leaned back. "You did on the phone, you said 'Haruki-san, get him out of there right now' with that angry look on your face."

"Blunt, aren't you?" Onodera sniped at him. Takano could almost see the nerve twitching under his eye and he wanted to laugh.

"Yes," was all Takano replied daringly. He wanted to add something else, but they had already reached their stop and Onodera stood up to get off the subway. Takano followed him silently, watching how stiffly Onodera's shoulders moved as he walked up the stairs to the surface. "You're extremely frigid."

Onodera's shoulders only tensed more and he was probably glaring. "Shut up. Your hair is stupid."

"So is yours," Takano replied back, definitely smiling this time.

"I'm concerned about him, obviously," Onodera stopped at the top of the stairs and looked down the street towards a tall and glittering building. "He's young, he's still easily hurt. His work is earnest and sweet, probably because nothing has ever hurt him before."

Takano gazed quietly at the bitterly jaded love of his life. "Wow. Pessimistic of you."

The rest of the walk down the block was silent, and the person who buzzed them into the apartment was Haruki, obviously considering that Sayato was barricaded in the bathroom. "I've tried everything I can think of!"

Onodera was definitely trying hard not to scowl at the young man. Instead, he stomped over to the bedroom and pushed the door open, stalking towards the bathroom and stopping at the door. "Sayato-sensei, come out here right now."

"No! I don't want to!"

Onodera knocked on the door and sighed. "Kid, come on. You know I can pick locks, don't make me do this."

This, Takano did find funny—he had learned from his own Onodera that the other had learned how to pick door locks during his first year of university. At least that had remained the same, and the fact this little detail was constant just made him laugh. The little things that happened to stay the same were definitely a comfort to Takano in all the chaos of what was happening to him.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble," Haruki stood next to them and watched nervously. His hair was a pale brown and his eyes were clear and golden, he had a small and cute face despite being nearly twenty, and his hands fidgeted with the hem of his shirt almost subconsciously, clearly out of habit.

"It'll be okay, go work on the pages, we will take care of him," Takano assured the other man.

In front of them, Onodera was already dragging a distressed and struggling artist out of the now unlocked bathroom. "You are going to finish your manuscript and you are going to finish it today!"

"I don't want to! You give shitty pep talks, Onodera-san!" Sayato struggled and fought, his long and black hair falling into his face, until he looked up and realized Onodera had not come alone. "Oh. Uh. Hi, who are you?"

Takano's first impression on the boy had originally been a scary one—Sayato had continued to be sort of afraid of him but also sort of in love with him since their first meeting. This time, Takano would aim only for the second bit of that statement. He leaned his head to the side and brushed his hair back, giving the boy a soft look. "I'm Takano Masamune, I'm going to be your sub-editor. How about we work on the pages together?"

Onodera gave him a look that said he would get murdered for that later.

"Wh.." Sayato brushed Onodera away and blinked at Takano. "You're gorgeous—" and suddenly his blue eyes lit up like they did the first time he had laid his eyes on Takano Masamune. "—that's it! I need an antagonist! Haruki! Get me a blank set of pages, we're going to re-write the manuscript!"

With a wide-eyed look, Onodera followed Sayato towards his work office. "Like hell you are! It's due tomorrow!"

* * *

"You tricked him," Onodera collapsed down on the subway seat and let out a heavy breath. "You used that face of yours to persuade him. But it worked."

"Yes," Takano replied, standing next to his boss and holding on so he wouldn't fall when they started moving.

It was nearly nine at night and they were both exhausted. After typesetting, screening, and toning a not entirely new but heavily altered and hastily edited volume of _Bright Prince_ , the two editors were finally heading back.

Onodera looked up at him with a blank face. "You don't say much, do you?"

Takano just blinked back down at him.

With a sigh, Onodera looked down at the envelope in his hand. "And you really don't remember what happened between us in high school, do you? I thought you were joking, but you were completely serious."

Takano recalled their first encounter—or rather, the memory that body had of it. He saw himself completely reject the idea that Onodera was the same person from when he had been a teenager, and he could still hear himself bluntly state that there was no way they would ever be anything more than coworkers. Every memory he had of himself was plain and blunt, and the personality he had come to develop in this universe was annoyingly quiet.

He was honestly tired of the personality the him from that universe had, and he decided to act like himself—the him that he was meant to be. The worst that could happen was that there would be a new awkward memory for two versions of themselves they'd never have to deal with again. _Since it's not time travel, I can technically do whatever I want,_ he thought. _If it's a bizarre dream, even more so._

There was no one else on the subway with them; it was late enough that no one was traveling in the same direction. He leaned down in front of Onodera's face and smiled. "It's cute how you think I could possibly forget you."

Onodera blinked up at him with alarm. "So you d-do remember that!" it was the first time that day he had seen any resemblance between the original Onodera and the one sitting in front of him, and it was adorable.

"Your face is red," the taller man leaned closer and took Onodera's chin in his free hand. "You may be my boss, but you can't deny that _I_ make _you_ nervous."

"D-d—ah," Onodera did a very like-him thing to do—he put the manuscript in his hands between them and in front of Takano's face, pushing it into him and shoving him away. "Don't do that! I _am_ still the boss," he nearly stuttered. "So I'm going home and you can get the manuscript to the office for the printers tomorrow."

Takano smirked and took the pages and put them in his bag, but he sat down next to Onodera, boldly leaning his head on the other's shoulder. "I'll see you home."

Onodera was too nervous to say no. "Okay."

* * *

Back on the surface, they had barely started walking towards Onodera's apartment building—which Takano realized was also still his apartment building as well—when it started to rain. "Ah!" Onodera gasped and raised his arms over his head. "Come on, this way!"

The two of them made their way down the sidewalk and rushed inside, but despite their efforts to stay dry, once they were under the cover of the building, they looked at each other and started to laugh.

"You're soaked," Takano said, wiping water from his cheek with the back of his hand.

"Your hair looks stupid," Onodera put a hand on his mouth, hiding his smile.

"So does yours," the other replied, shaking his hair to get some of the water out. "I don't suppose I get to come in and dry off."

Though reluctant, Onodera shrugged and wiped his mess of hair out of his face. "Yeah. Sure. I guess."

It was surprising that he agreed, considering Takano was sure he lived next door, and then he realized Onodera didn't know they were neighbors yet. But he took the opportunity anyway, and followed the other man towards the elevator.

On their way up, Onodera seemed to remember something and his face paled. "Oh, uh, my roommate, don't be alarmed by her."

"Roommate?" Takano raised his head.

"Yep. She's something." Though ominous as that was, Takano took his chances.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiicchan!" the second Onodera opened the door, a pair of arms circled his neck and a small girl was hugging him. Her light brown hair spilled down her shoulders, which were bare as far as sleeves went, but covered in intricate and colorful tattoos. "I've been waiting for you all day! You said we would eat dinner together and you weren't here! Ew, Ricchan, you're all wet! Gross!"

"An-chan, please stop," Onodera pressed his mouth into a line and looked uncomfortable. "Yumiko, please get her off me."

A second girl appeared from behind the door and put her arms around An's waist, prying her off Onodera and twirling her around, smiling. The girl was tall and thin but gorgeous, with sharp features and blue eyes, her dark black hair cascading down her bare shoulders, and her shorts and tank top showing off her lean and carefully curved body. "You got it, boss."

"Don't call me that," Onodera huffed and held the door open to Takano as he stepped out of his shoes. "This is my sister, An-chan, and her girlfriend, Yumiko Airi."

Takano gave a short bow and stepped inside, taking off his shoes and leaving them next to Onodera's. "Nice to meet you."

Yumiko squinted her sharp eyes at him and put An down next to her, slinging an arm around her shoulders to hold her back. "You're new. Who are you?"

"Takano Masamune," he replied shortly, looking at her evenly.

"Ricchan, why are you all wet? Nh! _Yumi_ let me go!" An wriggled free—an easy feat considering she was almost a foot and a half shorter than Yumiko and she turned and ran towards the bathroom. She came back with two towels and threw one at Onodera's head before pattering over to Takano and offering it to him with a big smile. "Here you go! Dry off, okay?"

Onodera glanced between the girls and Takano before he rubbed his head down with the towel and walked off towards his bedroom. "I'll be right back."

The moment he was gone, An threw the towel at Takano and glared up at him. "I remember you from high school. You hurt Ricchan."

Pulling the towel down and wiping his neck and the side of his hair with it, Takano took a step back from her. "Um—"

"An, don't scare him," Yumiko put her arms around An's shoulders and leaned down on her. She sounded kind to her girlfriend, but her eyes looked evenly and seriously at Takano. "Ricchan told me about you. He really loves you, you know. Don't hurt him again."

Takano looked from one girl to the other and nodded his head slowly. "Okay."

"Takano-san," Onodera opened the door to his bedroom and walked back out, then he looked at the girls. "Can you two give us a moment?"

An smiled sweetly at him before turning to glare back at Takano. "It was nice to meet you! Come on, Yumiko, let's go play video games!" Yumiko let An pull her along by the hand and laughed. "Okay."

Once they were alone, Onodera looked up at Takano and looked nervous again, but he was definitely trying to hide it, pretending that things weren't awkward between them. "I'm sorry about them. An-chan insists that I shouldn't live alone."

"They care about you," Takano could at least be grateful for that. "I'm glad you've had them around."

"Yeah, me, too," Onodera looked nervous and he lowered his gaze to the floor. "I just… I wanted to tell you something before you go. I felt it was important to say it, and to make things clear between us."

Takano stepped forward and tilted the other's face up, looking at him intensely, his brow creased. " _Ritsu_ , I'm sorry if I hurt you. It was never my intention."

"It doesn't matter much," he looked up again, this time his eyes glittering as if he would cry. "In this universe, it was both of our faults—" Onodera stopped himself and put his hand on his mouth. "But you wouldn't understand what I'm talking about."

"What?" Takano looked surprised and he blinked quickly. "Did you just say? _Ritsu_? Is that you!? How long have you been here!?"

"Eh?" Onodera's face was alarmed and he held his hands up with confusion, rubbing at his eyes and his splotchy red face. "Takano-san? I, um, I got here yesterday morning! Bu...but you didn't remember me yesterday! Apparently, you just transferred into Emerald a few weeks ago and you acted like you didn't know me this whole time! Like at all! But this me has memories of us together from high school—"

"I wasn't _here_ yesterday, I got here today, when I woke up on the floor," the other interrupted. "Last night I was somewhere where we'd never even separated as teenagers," Takano felt so relieved he hugged Onodera suddenly, squeezing him tightly in his arms and breathing in deeply. "Ritsu. I hated it. It was weird, I didn't feel like myself. I _yelled_ at you."

"I…it's okay? I forgive you," Onodera leaned back and smiled at him. "Is that really you? Please be you."

Takano kissed him quickly, then again and again, taking his lover's face in his hands and kissing him like it would be the last time he would ever get to do that. "Yes. _Yes_!" he breathed. "What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know! I was there and then I was here, I don't even remember falling asleep, I—" Ritsu stopped talking and blinked slowly, a small gasp of pain coming from his lips. "M-Masam—"

"Ritsu!" Takano tried to catch the other as he lost consciousness, but there was a fog taking over his own mind now and he just let Onodera fall on the floor, feeling his knees go out under him and then he was just looking at the ceiling. "Wh…"

* * *

Takano lifted his head groggily, groaning from the headache and blinking sleepily. Looking around, he recognized the library from his university, from the tall shelves to the bright lights and the stacks and stacks of books that were piled up on the table he'd fallen asleep on. When he looked down at his papers, he recognized his notes from one of his exams, and when he looked at the cardboard cup next to them he remembered how he used to take his coffee during this time.

He shook his head for the millionth time in under a week and scowled. "Fuck." He couldn't believe he'd fallen asleep studying, and he ran his hands through his hair and tried to clear away the sleep.

"You talk in your sleep."

Takano looked up and glared. To his _not_ surprise at this point, it was Onodera Ritsu that was sitting at the table down from him, reading a stack of books, a pair of bright lime green reading glasses sliding down on his nose. "What?"

"You _talk_ ," he cleared up. "In your sleep, something about alternate universes," the other leaned his head to the side and his light brown hair swept into his startling green eyes. "I'm Onodera, we have English Lit together? We're taking the same final next week."

"I know who you are," Takano sat back and picked up his notes. "Your father's the head of Onodera Publishing, isn't he?"

Onodera seemed to stiffen at this and he slid his gaze sideways. "Yeah."

"Nice to meet you," Takano held his gaze evenly.

"Nice to meet you, too," the other replied.

Oh, this was going to be interesting.

* * *

 **Indeed. Review for chapter 5 please! Thank you to everyone for supporting me! Some of you might know, "Akihiko" means "Bright Prince" like the title of Sayato-san's manga hehe.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Did you enjoy the view?" Takano teased the supposed stranger, combing down his hair and yawning tiredly. He wanted to say he was sleepy, but actually he just felt his exhaustion in every muscle and joint. Now he remembered how much he'd actually hated university and reliving the stress wasn't doing much for him either. He had liked learning, but the exhaustion part was something he didn't want to experience again.

Another thing he remembered was something Onodera had told him the very first time he had woken up in a universe that was not his own; " _I was already in university and you were there, too, and we were taking the same final and you remembered me but I didn't know you…_ "

 _I remember him, but he doesn't know me,_ Takano decided to take things in stride. _This is the first time we meet in this universe. I'm probably going to fuck it up._ "Watching me while I sleep, can't tell if that's flattering or creepy."

Onodera scowled and gave him an annoyed look. "You're not _that_ pretty—I mean... sorry, I'm just tired. My sister tells me I get mean when I'm tired. You know how it is when you're an English Lit major with a tyrant for a professor. Always just tired."

"Yokozawa-sensei can be cruel," Takano put in, fluttering the papers on the table with his fingers but not seeing any of the notes because he was too tired to register them. "But he is our professor after all, it's not their jobs to be kind."

"It's their job to torture us," the other shook his head and scowled. "I'm sure that's what they thrive on, the misery of their students."

Takano knew this wasn't his Ritsu—he knew it was, because Onodera had told him he'd been here, but if he didn't remember anything he was a completely different person. Still, when he looked at this man, he could see there was something weighing on his mind and he could tell that Onodera was troubled by something.

"Someone is very bitter," Takano mused, leaning on his arms and sighed, gazing over at the other and waiting for a snarky response.

Surprisingly, Onodera smiled down at his book, but it looked strained and sad and Takano didn't like that. "I used to read all the books in the library at my high school in my youth, now I barely get through one a week. I knew it was expected, but it still makes me sad. Oh, well. It can't be helped."

He wanted to say something, anything to help, and Takano knew Onodera appreciated when he was sappy and affectionate, but he couldn't get himself to speak. When he finally thought of something, he was interrupted by someone else.

"Yo," two slender and pale arms dropped around his shoulders and a screen of jet black hair swept into Takano's face. "How's it going, baby bro?"

Takano looked up and found himself staring at Yumiko, the girl from the previous day—though in this universe he knew her as his best friend and sister. Her grin was wide and her face was beautiful and bright; as if seeing him was the joy in her life. She was wearing one of his hoodies with the sleeves pushed up and a tank top and jean shorts that showed too much of her long legs. It was weird but he thought she looked much cooler than he did and it annoyed him but in a nice way. He still remembered a time when he was the one wearing her too-big hoodie, until the point where he had grown right past her and become the sibling that was taller.

"Get off." He shrugged himself out of her hold and felt his face get warm.

He remembered having a sister. His very first memory was of her, smiling at him, missing a tooth that got knocked out while she was trying to fight a bully from their neighborhood. He remembered holding her hand as they walked to school when they had been children, and letting her stop to tie his shoes. He remembered the constant clothes shopping as he was constantly growing out of his, even as teenagers because once he had turned thirteen and until he had been nearly eighteen had just continued to grow.

He had memories of them spending summers together at the beach, eating shaved ice cones on the sand as the sun had set. He remembered learning how to ride bikes together, he could still see them going to the playground from primary school, trying to avoid their parents and the constant fighting. She had always protected him from that, pulling him away and out of the house before the foul words and snide comments could start. She had taken him to get his first library card and even dragged him into a handful of vacations by themselves as teenagers, spending money their absent parents had left for them on the kitchen table with a note of empty affection.

Takano remembered being loved; he remembering being happy. It was a nice feeling to have to himself.

"Someone's grumpy," she chirped and pinched his cheek and put her chin on his head affectionately. "Still studying? Come on, Takacchan, let's go have some fun! You need a break."

It was easier to smile as his current self, and Takano started to gather his things. "Fine," he looked at Onodera. "I'll see you in class. So where are we going, Airi?"

"I want smoothies," was all Yumiko replied with, looking to the side and grinning when she spotted the other sitting there. "Onodera-san, I didn't know you knew my brother!"

"Oh, yeah, we're old friends," the other man said sarcastically.

Yumiko laughed and smiled again. "How's studying treating you?"

Onodera looked up and nodded at her, closing his book. "Terribly, thanks. I'm currently in an abusive relationship with this text book."

"How's your sister?" Yumiko asked curiously, her smile becoming less sweet and more devious.

"Please stay away from my sister," the other stood up and crossed his arms. "You're a bad influence, Yumiko-san."

Yumiko grinned innocently—but it still looked wicked. "But she's so cute. She still won't say yes to dating me, but I feel like she will soon."

Onodera rolled his eyes, "Okay, _bye_."

"Wait, wait!" Yumiko hopped over to him happily. "Do you want to come with us to get smoothies? You can ask her to come, too!"

"No, thanks," picking up his things in his arms, Onodera started to walk off. "See ya."

Takano decided he _liked_ this Onodera—he had a fantastic personality. "Later."

"Bye!" the girl turned to Takano and grinned big as she ran back to him and put her arms around his shoulders, pressing her face up to his. "He's cute, you should get with that while he's still available, Takacchan."

"Butt out of my love life, nerd," Takano pushed her face away playfully and slung his bag over his shoulder. He wanted to be surprised by how naturally close they were but he wasn't at all because she felt too familiar.

"Please! If you date him I'll have a definite in with An-chan, she's just so cute, Takacchan, she's soft and sweet and I need to be her girlfriend," Yumiko huffed stubbornly, holding on to Takano's arm as they walked out of the library. "I'm hot and she deserves me!"

When they were outside, Takano spotted Onodera down the sidewalk, talking to a small girl he recognized as An. "You can't force her to date you," he told his sister. "She'll say yes when she's ready."

"An-chan!" when Yumiko saw her, too, she hopped up and down where she stood and waved. "Hi!"

"Stop," Takano started to pull her away.

An looked up and smiled and waved, too, but Onodera pulled her away instead. Takano glanced back at them just in time to catch Onodera watching him. Onodera shrugged at him and waved with a small smile on his face as he walked away with her to wherever they were going.

* * *

It was late into the afternoon when Takano ran into Onodera again. He was walking down the sidewalk of one of the campus gardens, his head bent down over the book he was reading, his destination the library where he would most likely be doing another all-nighter, when he literally ran straight into the other man.

"Hey!" Onodera yelped angrily and jumped back, dropping his own book, the iced coffee in his other hand spilling all over his shirt. He was less angry when he saw who it was that ran into him. "Oh, hey, it's you, not much for good impressions, are you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Takano was laughing, holding his book to himself. "And sorry."

"The first time we met you were drooling all over the desk and the second time is this," Onodera dabbed at the stain on his shirt and though he didn't look mad, he looked annoyed. "Awesome."

Takano rolled his eyes and put his bag down away from the coffee that had spilled on the sidewalk. He took off his hoodie and handed it over. "Here, put this on. It's clean, I promise."

"I know, Yumiko-san always complains her brother never does any chores so she does them for him—you," Onodera shamelessly and surprisingly didn't hesitate to take off his shirt in the middle of the courtyard and he put on the hoodie, slipping his arms into the just too-big sleeves and zipping it up. "You wear too much black."

"There's no such thing," Takano grinned and picked up his book bag, gesturing for them to keep walking towards the library before reconsidering. "Actually, my brain is kind of fried from studying, do you want to just, like take a walk?"

Onodera raised an eyebrow but looked like he was considering it despite his reluctance. He stuffed his ruined shirt in his bag and asked, "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Well, I did spill your coffee on you," Takano pointed out.

The other looked at him with a doubtful face but he slowly agreed. "Okay... you can buy me a new one."

Takano let Onodera walk him in the direction of the coffee stand; he occasionally stopped by the small stand down the street from the campus once or twice a day and Yumiko was constantly scolding him for drinking his coffee black. He wasn't sure how he remembered that, but he went with it.

"Iced coffee, hm? I bet you take it with milk and sugar or some other too-sweet flavor," Takano made fun.

Onodera glanced at him and smiled. "Vanilla or strawberries, actually—don't tell me, you take your coffee black, like everything else in your life." He rolled his eyes.

"You sound like my sister," the other teased him. "She's one to talk."

"Your sister is something else completely," Onodera looked even more annoyed now. "I really don't know what my sister sees in her."

"So she does like her. Why does she keep saying no?" Takano asked curiously.

Onodera shrugged and looked down at his feet as he avoided every crack. "I think she just doesn't know how to handle the situation. She's never dated anyone before, guess we have that bit in common."

Takano looked over in surprise, but he kept on walking, looking down at his feet now, too, and mimicking the other in avoiding the cracks. "Well, you can't say that anymore, you're technically on a date with me. Who has time for a social life when they're double majoring anyway."

"True, and it's _one_ date, Takano-san," Onodera stopped walking when he got to a particular wide crack. "When we were kids, we would do this. We would play and avoid the cracks, sometimes I would step on them on purpose. I can't help feeling that it was cruel of me to do that with my intentions at the time."

"We all do weird things as kids," Takano shrugged. "I used to think my name was Takacchan, because that's what Airi calls me, so I was confused when other people called me Takano."

Onodera laughed at this, but quickly put his hand on his mouth and looked away. "That's funny, Takano-san."

His heart got all fluttery at the sound of Onodera saying his name and Takano shook his head. "When we were kids, we would read each other stories. It used to be just at bed time, we both grew up loving books. I would read to her when she felt disappointed by our parents, and she would read to me when they would fight. Then it became a thing we did when we had a bad day."

"That's actually really sweet," Onodera commented, smiling an awkward smile that made it obvious he didn't do that enough. "You guys are adorable."

"Your sister just wants you to be happy, you look like you don't smile often," Takano said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Is it really that obvious?" the other man turned on his heel and pressed his mouth into a line.

"Not a lot, you're handsome so you can't tell if you aren't looking," Takano tried to be comforting but he wasn't sure how far he could go. "Anyway, do you want another iced coffee or what? You can get whatever you want, as my apology."

They had reached the coffee stand, and the guy who managed it had just finished serving the two girls in line in front of them. He smiled and Takano had to squint at how bright and sparkly the guy was. He practically radiated beauty. "Hey, Ricchan, back already? I told you I'm already seeing one," he smiled genuinely.

"Yukina-senpai," Onodera smiled at him and his face turned pink. "Yeah, whatever. This is Takano-san, he spilled my coffee on me. Can I get another? This time large, with extra vanilla. Takano-san, this is Yukina, he's a year ahead of us, art major."

"Nice to meet you," Takano winced at how sweet the coffee sounded to him. "I'll take mine black, thanks."

Yukina got busy making the coffee, but it didn't stop him or his gorgeous face from talking. "Kisa-san is coming to pick me up, he's taking me to dinner."

"He always says he will and then he doesn't," Onodera looked at Takano and crossed his arms. "Editors, what are you gonna do with them—other than sleep with them, in your case, Yukina-senpai."

Oh, Takano definitely liked the attitude of this Onodera Ritsu. Takano also realized that this was most likely the Yukina that Kisa had once told him about over drinks. He had gotten incredibly drunk and complained that his partner was too beautiful for words. But it looked like in this universe he and Kisa had probably never met, so it would be weird to mention him.

"Well, he runs his own department, since he is editor-in-chief, so I understand he's busy," Yukina put a large clear cup in front of Onodera. "But having his attention for a whole night once in a while is nice."

"Sappy and cliché," Onodera took a sip from his coffee and smiled. "Have a good night, Yukina-senpai. Come on, Takano-san."

"It was nice meeting you," Takano took his coffee from Yukina and paid, bowing shortly before letting Onodera lead him away back towards the campus.

"Mmm," the light-haired man smiled and took a big drink of his coffee. "Do you want to try it?"

"If it doesn't taste as bitter as your personality, no thanks," Takano replied, taking a sip of his own coffee. He did usually take his coffee with something, but the current him just wasn't having it.

"Rude," but Onodera wasn't really mad, he leaned over and stuck the cup in Takano's face. "Try it."

Takano made a face and turned it away. "Nope."

"Come on, it's good," the other offered it to him again. "Plus you get to kiss me indirectly."

"Plus?" Takano raised his eyebrows and then laughed. "You're not _that_ pretty."

He felt so at ease with this Onodera—he was funny and sweet, but still so awkward, he reminded Takano so much of the original that he forgot all of his worries for just a moment and felt like everything would work itself out. He was sure it had something to do with the fact that he could make this brand new Onodera like him just as himself and not as his senpai. There was no pressure because it seemed they were the same age, and he had never realized it would feel like a relief.

Onodera scowled at him but then broke into a smile, nudging Takano with his shoulder. "Try the coffee."

"Nope," Takano was persistent. "Not in this universe."

"You know your sister showed up and kidnapped my sister?" Onodera bit his straw and changed the subject as they got back onto the campus. "My sister caved and said yes to a date."

Takano leaned his head to the side. "That's where she went. She's always been like that. Our parents were often absent so she had to watch after me, I'm glad she is still a happy person despite it."

"My dad's always busy, too, but my mom is overbearing," Onodera rolled his eyes and sighed.

Deciding he wasn't ready for their short date to end, Takano led Onodera down a different path towards the garden. "Yumiko can be overbearing sometimes, but in a good way. At least she's not trying to marry me off to some cute girl in an arranged marriage."

Onodera's expression wavered but he tried to laugh. "Yeah, right. Where are we going? The library is that way."

"Detour," was the only explanation Takano gave him. "Come on."

"Okay," Onodera followed him without protesting, chewing on his straw.

Takano found his favorite bench, well, the _only_ bench in the garden and sat down, gesturing for the other to take a seat next to him. "My sister got attacked by a duck here once."

Onodera blinked at him and then laughed, trying to choke it back. "That's hilarious. Was she okay?"

"Fine, she hates ducks now though," Takano shrugged his shoulders and looked at Onodera. "It's understandable."

With a soft smile, Onodera put his drink down from his mouth and on his lap, his hands gripping the cold plastic tightly. "Coffee makes everything better. An-chan says I should drink more tea, but I don't like tea. I hate tea, actually."

"Have you told her that?" leaning back on the bench, Takano took a sip of his coffee and looked at Onodera.

Onodera shook his head and took a deep breath, letting out and turning to smile at his new friend. "No, she worries about me. She keeps asking me why I always look so sad, but I'm not sad, I'm just tired. I don't want her to worry about me anymore."

"You seem perfectly fine, perfectly likable. Why would she worry about you?" Takano was honestly curious.

With a shrug, Onodera looked away, but Takano recognized that pretty pink flushing his cheeks and he could only guess what was coming. "I didn't expect to actually like you."

"Wow, offense, so much of it right now," Takano laughed quietly and leaned forward, waiting for a response.

Onodera became flustered and he waved his hand around. "You sleep through every class but still manage to be at the top of it, you talk in your sleep! You're not the type of person I like at all." He looked back to Takano. "But I do like you."

"Quite the confession," Takano half-smiled to show he was only playing. "And very subtle change in subject. But I do see what's definitely _not_ to like, I'm not a great person so liking me is probably against better judgement."

"That," with a small laugh, Onodera looked at him and tried to hide that he was smiling. "I don't think I can help it."

Takano grinned. "The fact that you suck at changing subjects or that you like me? Despite my lack of good qualities as a human being."

"You're fine," Onodera laughed obviously this time.

"Please, name something good about me after knowing me for half a day," rolling his eyes, Takano looked at him expectantly.

"You're smart, and funny, and ...you have nice eyes," Onodera smiled timidly and tried not to laugh, but his smile was too cute and it made Takano feel funny inside. "They're ...pretty, like gold, yep."

"That's like three," Takano pointed out. "That's _literally_ three."

"We _have_ known each other half a day," it was Onodera's turn to roll his eyes. "Give me to the second date I'm sure I'll find more."

Takano shrugged and took a drink from his coffee. "Who says I want to take you out on a second date? I won't let you make poor life choices."

"You never seemed like the type to talk down about yourself, what if I _want_ a second date? What if I _want_ to make poor life choices?" Onodera was challenging him.

Looking at him with astonished golden eyes, all Takano could think was, _I definitely really like this Onodera Ritsu._

* * *

 **I have no excuses. Yukina cameo as a coffee barista for no reason at all other than I love him and he is my child. Review for chapter 6!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Oh, sorry," Onodera apologized as he took his mobile phone out of his pocket and looked at it. His eyebrows knit together with annoyance and he ignored the call.

Takano raised his own eyebrows. "Avoiding someone?"

They had been sitting on the bench in the garden by the pond for what seemed like forever but was most likely just a couple of hours. Takano had spent most of their time there sitting and watching the other man carefully, picking out and making a note of all the little things about Onodera that were exactly the same. He wondered how difficult it would be to make Onodera remember him in this universe, but he decided not to try when he remembered how he had felt about it when Onodera had showed up in the first universe and told him the truth.

"My sister," Onodera shook his head. "I'm not really avoiding her; I just don't want to talk to her right now. Today, all day, I have had this feeling like it isn't right."

"Like what isn't right?" the other asked him.

Onodera lifted his head and looked at Takano with confused eyes. "Like _everything_ isn't right. I don't know, maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I'm finally having a mental breakdown caused by stress."

"Just wait until you actually become an editor," Takano mused, leaning back on his arms.

"When did I tell you I wanted to be an editor?" blinking with doubt, Onodera looked at Takano as if he were trying to remember something important.

"I just… assumed, because of your father," it wasn't that hard to come up with a lie. But it did feel a little wrong to lie about it. Still, there was no easy way to explain it—he couldn't just flat out say, _'Oh, you didn't, but I come from an alternate universe where we fell in love in high school and now I'm your boss. But we don't edit literature like you originally wanted, we edit manga. The shoujo type.'_

It sounded ridiculous the more he thought about it, and Takano shook his head and asked, "Is that not what you want to do?"

"No, it is!" Onodera seemed more animated now. "I want to, of course! But when I tell someone they always assume I am just taking the easy way out, that my father will clear a path for me to become someone great. Someone who doesn't try and gets everything they want anyway."

"And that's not the case?" Takano raised one eyebrow and tilted his head towards the other. "If I were you I would take every opportunity to get ahead. So _what_ if your father being who he is makes your job a bit easier? I would use every advantage I could get, the opinion of other people affecting absolutely nothing."

Onodera frowned and hunched his shoulders, shrugging them a little. "It feels wrong. Either way, my father is lenient in the choices that I make for my future, but he has made it clear that whatever I want to do, I have to do it on my own."

"I'm sure you're completely capable," Takano commented. "Still, life is hard enough as it is, and you shouldn't feel bad for using any and all of the resources available to you to get ahead. Let other people be jealous! They're just mad they weren't offered the same opportunity. Their resentful opinions shouldn't affect you, as long as you know how amazing you really are."

"Thanks," lowering his still troubled green eyes to the screen of his phone, Onodera sighed. "I should call her back."

"Or we could also not do that, come on," Takano stood up and considered what he was doing, and then he held his hand out to his boyfriend, who didn't know they were boyfriends, and he smiled. "Let's go have our second date."

Onodera looked at his coffee, which he'd put down on the bench next to him. "We haven't even finished our first one. Or our coffee."

"Who cares, come on."

"Uh," those crystal green eyes looked up at Takano, but with little hesitation, Onodera took his hand. "Okay."

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Onodera asked for the hundredth time. "This is taking forever. We could have been done with our _fifth_ date by now."

"Actually, yes," Takano parked his car and got out, going around and opening the door for Onodera before he could do it himself. When he pulled Onodera up on his feet, he smirked. "And it wasn't even an hour drive. Relax."

He easily slipped his fingers between the other's and pulled him out of the car, dragging Onodera down the street and around the corner. The smaller man blushed when Takano held his hand, but he didn't pull his fingers free. Their hands were soft in each other's, and it should have made him feel nervous and sweaty, but it didn't―it just made him feel at ease and comfortable.

"Come on, you'll like it, I promise," Takano smiled back at Onodera, running his free hand through his hair.

"Uh, we drove for nearly forty-five minutes, I'd better like it," it was only a joke, but Onodera stumbled after Takano, glad the other was excited and trying not to be reluctant. When he finally saw where Takano had brought him, Onodera's face broke out into a huge smile, "Amusement park!"

Takano smiled, pleased with his choice. "Yes."

"But I love amusement parks, how could you have known that?" Onodera looked at Takano with sparkling green eyes, a swirl of emotions turning inside of him.

Takano shrugged, as if it were nothing. "Who doesn't like going to an amusement park?"

"Well, I'm not a huge fan of roller coasters, but I like the other stuff," Onodera commented, looking around with glittering eyes, his barely contained excitement just a bit too obvious.

"Come on, let's have some fun," Takano nudged the other's shoulder with his own. "It is a date, after all."

* * *

There were too many things to do in just one afternoon―they'd gotten to the amusement park pretty late, too, so there was little time. It was fortunate for Takano that he had already once taken his boyfriend to an amusement park, and though he could only hope this Onodera would like the same type of things, he was almost sure of it as he lined up a path of things for them to do before the park closed for the night.

They played the water gun game multiple times and lost each and every time, stopped for hot dogs and drinks, and then went into a fun house of mirrors. In that one they ended up lost and both agreed not to do that again. At the ring toss, Takano won Onodera a small and pink stuffed elephant, which the other refused to carry for all of two seconds before he clutched it to his chest and decided he wasn't going to win that argument.

Takano had totally hit the nail on the head on all the games they played. Of course, just because he knew what Onodera probably did and didn't like, it didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun himself. "We should go on this one next," he grinned, looking up at it. "You'll like it."

He was talking about the Swing Carousel, which he liked because he found it relaxing, breezy, and romantic―it was a good hand-holding opportunity, so that was a plus. But he did laugh when this Onodera had the exact same reaction as the first time they'd ever considered the ride together.

"There is no goddamn way I am getting on that thing," Onodera furrowed his eyebrows in disapproval and crossed his arms over his chest. "We can go on the Ferris Wheel, but this is not happening."

"I pegged you as an intense-ride kind of person," Takano joked at him, draping his arm over his smaller friend's shoulders and steering him towards something else.

"Clearly we've only known each other for a day, because I'm not," his completely serious tone just made everything more funny, and Onodera was trying not to laugh, too.

Takano looked up at the glittering lights of the rides in the hue of the setting sun and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the feeling that something was missing. "I was just teasing. You didn't really seem to like the Tilt-a-Whirl, so I figured. My hand still hurts from how tight you were holding it."

"Ah, sorry," Onodera didn't shrug him off this time, like he had the past three times they'd gotten off a ride and Takano had done the same thing. His cheeks turned a splotchy pink and he looked sideways at the taller man. "Did I squeeze too hard?"

"It's fine," rolling his eyes, Takano pointed to their next ride. "To make it up to me, we can go on that one."

Onodera looked up at the roller coaster and Takano could hear the alarm in his sigh and his voice, "No fucking way."

"Come on, you can't back out," Takano gave him an encouraging push towards the line.

"No, no," the smaller man ducked out of Takano's hold and shook his head. "You can go if you want I'll wait down here, on the ground, where I _can't_ fall to my death. I kind of don't like heights, or any other thing that could potentially kill me."

Takano rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. _You're_ not afraid of heights."

"You're right, I'm not, but I am afraid of dying," Onodera exclaimed stubbornly.

Takano leaned into Onodera now, letting their shoulders touch and interlocking their fingers together, feeling the warmth of the other's palm and looking at him steadily. "I'm here, if that makes you feel better."

"Um," Onodera's face colored pink and he looked down at their hands. "Only a little."

* * *

Takano hopped off the roller coaster and back to the security of the earth, feeling the adrenaline making his skin vibrate. The rush was a good outlet for all of the conflicted feelings and the stress brought on by the bizarre situation he'd found himself in. It somehow made him feel at ease, having control after moving so fast on the ride. He turned around on his heel and tried not to laugh at his boyfriend who wasn't his boyfriend.

"T-ha…" Onodera stumbled after him, taking fast and shallow breaths, as if he was trying to laugh but not able to.

Takano chuckled and took his hand, "Come on, you."

" _That_ was awful," Onodera followed the other shakily, nearly dropping his stuffed toy. "How did you talk me into that?"

"I'm charming," Takano looked around quickly for what he wanted them to do next. It was something that Onodera had originally refused, but perhaps this time it would be different.

Onodera walked along behind the other with no sign of resistance. "Maybe. Or maybe I'm just suffering brain damage from the Tilt-a-Whirl."

With a laugh, Takano turned and pulled on Onodera's arm when he saw what he wanted. He turned Onodera quickly, pushing him into the small booth. "Oh, we definitely have to do this."

"Ugh―Takano-san, I hate pictures," Onodera whined but he slid into the seat, starting to calm down from their ride on the roller coaster but definitely still feeling it in his stomach. He held his stuffed elephant on his lap and made a disgruntled sound.

"I don't," Takano smirked at the first picture was snapped. He knew Onodera would come out scowling in that one and he didn't want that for the rest of them.

Before the next picture could be taken, he leaned over abruptly, planting a kiss on Onodera's cheek with a smile and closed eyes.

"Ah―" Onodera's eyes widened and the color rushed to his cheeks. He laughed nervously and a smile spread over his face. "Takano-san!"

"That was a good one," Takano guessed, leaning in and grinning. "Smile for the last one, too."

They were both leaning into each other and laughing for the last photo, and Onodera put a hand to his cheek bashfully. "That's unfair! You tricked me into enjoying myself for that."

"The whole point of a date is to have fun," Takano took Onodera's hand and tugged him out of the booth, pulling himself out first and reaching to the side. He slid the strips of photos out of the dispense slot and looked at them. He wanted to like them, to feel glad that he had them, but as he smiled down at their faces he remembered something he had previously been told.

 _A memory that is not yours._

Onodera reached over and took one of the strips. "Let me see! Hm, well." He shrugged and stuck the pictures in the pocket of his hoodie―the sweater that Takano had given him to put on earlier, which he was still wearing. " _I_ look good."

"And I look good kissing you," Takano shook his head slightly and then turned to smirk at the other man. "What do you―"

"Oh!" Onodera gasped out of nowhere and tore away from Takano, hurrying over to a small stand next to the merry-go-round. "Cotton candy!"

Takano stood where he was and watched Onodera pay for two of the soft and fluffy colorful clouds of sugar. He slid the pictures in his back pocket and shook off the feeling that he wanted this to stop and put on a less unhappy face as he walked over. "Sweet tooth?"

Looking up at him, Onodera stuck a tuft of cotton candy in his mouth and handed the other cone to Takano, barely keeping hold of either since he was still carrying his stuffed elephant around. "Yep. Here, have some. It's so fluffy and sweet."

"Thank you," Takano laughed and took the cone. "I'm not a huge fan of sugar."

"Oh, right, you take your coffee black like all the other boring people in the world," Onodera rolled his eyes but went back to smiling as he ate some more of the sugar cotton. "You know," he seemed to mellow out a bit as he considered his next words. "You didn't have to do this for me."

Takano shrugged, trying a bit of the cotton candy himself. "I wanted to. Besides, you looked stressed. If you frown so much, you'll get wrinkles."

Scowling, but mostly jokingly, Onodera turned around and took a look to see if he could pick something to do next. "Can we go on the merry-go-round?"

"Isn't that a little kid ride?" Takano teased him, licking his fingers to get the sugar off.

"Grown-ups can go on it, too," Onodera became flustered and offended. "I _like_ the merry-go-round."

"I don't like how it goes too slow, it gives me motion sickness," Takano whined.

"Well, we don't have to go on it," Onodera sighed and looked away, his shoulders slumping. "I cannot believe you're fine going on a death trap of a ride but the merry-go-round is the one that makes you sick."

It was too easy to tell he was pouting and Takano shook his head, " _Well_ ," he partially mocked. "Go on, let's get on it. I don't think you know you're pouting, but you're pouting."

"Oh, shut up!"

They didn't have to wait very long to board the ride, and Onodera ducked through the many little animals and children on them, taking them half around the merry-go-round until he found an empty bench. It was pink and blue, adorned with gold swirls and a giant purple elephant on the side, because it was an elephant, it was large and spacious enough that it gave a feeling of intimacy―or loneliness.

Onodera sat down with his pink elephant on his lap and looked around, looking like he was trying not to be excited by the ride but clearly happy to be on it.

Takano sat down next to him, sure it must look weird to other people to see two young men on a merry-go-round but honestly not really caring. The sides of the bench had elephants on them, and so when he looked around, he knew it was difficult for other people to see them without straining their necks to look.

"Enjoying yourself?" Takano leaned back and looked up at the pastel pink ceiling of the ride.

Onodera nodded and smiled timidly, looking pretty in the soft yellow light. "This is the most fun I've had since the term started. Thank you for that."

"You must do other fun things," Takano pointed out, sighing as the ride started to move.

"Um, I guess, mostly I read and write," the other admitted, holding the stuffed elephant to himself and looking at Takano. "But a lot of it is for school. I don't do many things because I simply enjoy them."

"That's no way to live your life," leaning over, Takano gave him a look, feeling the motion of the merry-go-round turning them slowly. "Don't you think you should do things because you like to do them?"

With a shrug, Onodera looked away now, turning his head to the side and squeezing the stuffed toy with his hands tightly. "A lot of times, it is out of your control."

"Hey," Takano reached over and took Onodera's face by his chin, turning it gently to look at him and lowering his face so they could see each other at eye level. "Don't look so sad when you're on a date with me."

"Sorry," Onodera whispered, and he seemed perfectly calm, except for the fact that his skin was getting hot and turning red from the contact. "I just… I'm not allowed to get distracted."

"That doesn't seem fair." He wasn't sure if it was how they were turning, how the world spun around them just slow enough to be blurry, but not fast enough that they glow of the park wasn't sparkly or pretty. But Takano felt taken over by the dazzle of the music and the warm twinkle of the lights and it didn't feel real, despite how much he wanted it to be.

Without a second thought, Takano pulled Onodera's face closer, the other boy blinked at him, quickly as if he didn't want to appear nervous. Not giving himself time to process his thoughts, Takano leaned into Onodera, pressing him back into the bench and kissing him. He put his hands on Onodera's face, holding him close and breathing him in. Onodera's mouth was soft, and he was definitely eager to kiss back. Takano held the other by the neck with both hands, leaning in to close the space between them just as the merry-go-round picked up the pace and moved faster.

Onodera held on to Takano's arms as he struggled to breathe against his lips. He was shocked and overwhelmed by Takano's actions but he didn't struggle or deny the other what he wanted, because he wanted it, too.

"How's that for a distraction?" Takano broke away first, gazing at Onodera steadily.

Onodera took in a shaky breath as he let go of Takano's arms and sat back on the bench, turning his face forward and looking out into the view of the park and the city as they were moved by the ride, being at the center but still feeling like everything was moving around them instead. He focused just on his breathing, which was fast and heavy, ignoring Takano who was sitting close next to him but not touching him anymore, and ignoring how confused and unstable he felt. He held his hands at his lap, his stuffed pink toy still on his lap, trying not to look away from the blur as they turned and turned and eventually came to a stop.

"I _liked_ merry-go-rounds," Onodera said breathlessly, staring ahead.

When the ride finally came to an end, he stood up and rushed to get off it, pulling himself forward around the bars and the plastic animals and the kids and farther and farther away from Takano.

"Onodera," Takano looked after him, trying to feel something other than empty.

It took him a moment to get sorted out, but Takano shook his head to pull himself back into the reality of the universe he was in and he stood up, quickly weaving his way out of the ride and then jumping off it. He scanned the crowd and quickly spotted his date―his stubborn, gullible, flustered, annoying date. Onodera hadn't even gotten that far from him, and he was just sanding where he was, staring at something Takano couldn't see.

He made his way over and stopped a few steps away, people moved around them but it felt like it was just the two of them. "Onodera."

Onodera turned his head to look at him in the crowd. "It doesn't feel right." He turned away quickly and started to walk off.

It came back to Takano that this Onodera was also his own Onodera, just without the memory of that. He wondered what was going on inside of that pretty head and he followed him without any words or requests for him to stop. Onodera led them out of the park, and the cutting silence that surrounded them when they were outside the gate was abrupt, almost deafening.

When they were down the street, Onodera stopped at a bus stop and lowered his arms to his sides, holding his pink elephant in one hand and the other in a fist.

"Onodera," Takano said quietly, waiting for the other to say something. " _Ritsu_."

"I don't like it," the other breathed, turning around and looking at Takano with troubled green eyes. "It doesn't feel right."

"What doesn't feel right?" Takano asked him as he stepped closer, holding his gaze.

Onodera's green eyes welled up with tears. "Takano-san, why does everything feel like it isn't right?"

"Because it's not," was all Takano said back.

Onodera let out a heavy breath and he stepped away. "Please take me home."

He wasn't going to argue. "Okay."

Once they were in the car, it seemed that Onodera changed his mind. He had been silent the walk to where they'd parked, but he spoke the moment they were in the confined space. "I have… these memories," Onodera raised his free hand and put it on his forehead. "I don't understand them, I see you and me and we're …younger, and we're together but―that's not right. It feels right but it isn't."

Takano looked at him and he was surprised that Onodera was looking right at him, his eyes clear and green and questioning.

"That's not right, is it?" Onodera asked him.

"It is," Takano reached over and pulled Onodera close, touching their foreheads together and breathing in as he closed his eyes and kissed him. "Just remember me," he said quickly, quietly, taking another short kiss. "Just think, just remember me. Remember me so we can go back."

"I―" it was an overwhelming kiss that overtook every bit of his being, and Onodera gasped for air and couldn't even hear himself think. All he wanted was to be kissed.

"Onodera Ritsu," Takano broke their kiss but kept them close, still holding their foreheads together. "Just think."

Taking soft and shallow breaths, Onodera blinked at him and his expression crumbled. "I can't, I'm getting married. I w-was, I wanted to tell you but―you're just, overwhelming. I feel―it feels like it's right to be with you, I feel _free_ , but …the wedding, it's next week."

Well, that was unexpected.

Takano couldn't help it―he laughed, he swallowed and his throat was dry and there was a heavy weight in his stomach but Takano laughed. He shook his head and he kissed Onodera again, holding his face close and laughing. "No, it's not. Tomorrow, everything will be different."

* * *

"―don't care what you choose, it's what you want it to be. I let you plan the thing so I wouldn't have to."

"Um. Sir―?"

"Just a minute, I'm occupied. Look, An-chan, just tell Yumiko to make all the decisions, you're the party planners. It's the first time Sayato-sensei will be presented to the world as himself, make it great however you'd like."

"Uh, sir, we really need you in there. If you're not too busy―"

Onodera turned to scowl at the assistant that had just walked into his office and he sighed heavily. "Of course I'm busy, I _am_ the CEO, I'm _always_ busy. What is it?"

The secretary drew back and held the file in his hand close to his chest. "Never mind, I'll just ...tell them to wait."

* * *

 **so the end of that previous universe turned out completely different than originally planned. cause nothing was ever planned lol. also i've never been to an amusement park.  
** **so, CEO ritsu... and his assistant, misaki. thoughts anyone? ;)**


End file.
